The Long Hair Community

babyblonde · October 6th, 2004, 09:54 PM

I don't know whether to laugh or cry! I didn't cut my midback hair to shoulder length yesterday as I'd been planning to do for a long time. This is such a strange story.
Believe me, during my whole life I have maybe gotten about five hair compliments - yesterday, before going to the salon, I got five from all kinds of people, friends, family and strangers!!! "Your hair is so long and pretty", and things of that kind. OK, I smiled and wondered, but I did go to the salon. When I was there, next to me an elderly lady was getting a perm. She heard me instruct the stylist to please cut my hair back to shoulder length, and she literally gasped! "Girl", she said, "are you really aware of what you're doing? If you need a change, buy some new make-up or a nice sweater, for pete's sake, but don't get rid of your one beauty. You'll definetely be sorry, and it won't just grow back like that." Two girls heard that and they actually came over to ask whether I was going to cut my hair short. When the lady told them yes, they were like "no way". So I chickened out and ended up NOT cutting. The stylist offered to just give me a micro trim and a deep conditioning treatment. I went home with the silkiest, prettiest hair ever and there's no "health" kind of reason for me to cut really. In a way I'm happy for not cutting, but then I'm also ashamed of letting me talk out of something like that. As I said, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Sorry about this long rant, but I still think this is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

purplebubba · October 6th, 2004, 10:08 PM

I understand how you feel. It sucks when you do something based on what others say.

I've had similar experiences when I needed to get a car and my dad and former step dad got involved and they both had different ideas about which car I should get.

I'm glad of one thing, you can still do what you wanted to do if you really want to. The choice you made was one that left you with the chance to make the choice again. Perhaps you need to follow the 2 week plan. You can think about it for 2 weeks and if after 2 weeks you still want to do it go ahead.

Make yourself a pro and con list of why this length is good and bad and why the other is too. Then also make some for in between lengths.

Go to stores and look at hair toys. Look around online. Perhaps buying a book of styles would help? You might find them at the library too.

But make it a rule to yourself that it has to be at least 2 weeks.
Remember these are your reasons. Yes long hair is beautiful and will take time to grow back but that doesn't mean cutting it off makes you ugly. If you don't want to have people around when you do that try making an appointment for early or late in the day.

Make sure you know exactly what kind of cut you want if you do get one. Do you want layers? Do you want them slightly layered or heavily?
Or do you want a one length cut or a blunt cut that may have some curve but isn't layered. That might be best for growing out if your long hair goal is one length or close.

Whatever you do decide on I promise you I will support you. You did try right?
Today just wasn't the right day and sometimes life does that to help us.

**Jennifer** · October 7th, 2004, 01:24 AM

Babyblonde,

I'm sorry you're feeling confused, but for some strange reason I was glad to hear your story. It's kind of interesting that you joined LHC, said you were going to cut, made it all the way there and had second thoughts. IMO, even though others said something, YOU had second thoughts or you would have had the cut anyway, correct?

I think it's

that you didn't get a cut myself because I really love long hair. However, if you decide to cut after all I support you and anyone else that's sure about the decision.

I guess I'm also basing too much on how I feel about myself and my hair. Everytime I'd get a lot of my long hair cut, I'd regret it and grow it right back. But, of course that doesn't mean that you will.

I'd say wait a couple weeks and re-evaluate how YOU feel, not the ladies you met yesterday, LHC or anyone else. I'd say if you can't make up your mind for sure then DON'T do it. Yes, it grows back, but it takes a while and if you ever regret never having cut your hair, you can still cut, whereas if you cut and regret, you can only slowly grow it back.

If for a solid few weeks you want to cut and don't waver in your decision, go for it. Of course, take my advice with a grain of salt if you'd like, LOL, I don't want to confuse the issue more, just wanted to give you something else to think about.

I'd love to see a picture of your hair, BTW, it sounds beautiful!

MemSahib · October 7th, 2004, 03:06 AM

Babyblonde, I think your story is great! Like PurpleBubba and Jennifer said, you can cut later if you still want to. That dear elderly lady is to be thanked for giving you pause and a little more time to think about it. I am impressed with her because so often older women rather actively dislike long hair. And you say yourself that you returned from the salon with wonderful hair —

. Sounds like success to me!

Give it a bit more time and thought. Read more here at LHC and take long looks at the beautiful hair. If you still feel you need to cut later, then go for it.

Bruin · October 7th, 2004, 06:35 AM

I think your hair looks great and it looks like you take really good care of it. My personal opinion will always be not to cut it though. Experience has taught me that the longer your hair gets, the more it gets noticed. So if your looking for strangers to compliment you on your hair then, and I know this sounds cheesy but, if you grow it they will come

Bruin

Catia · October 7th, 2004, 06:47 AM

Bruin -

Just popping in to say that isn't cheesy - it's brilliantly cheesy! What's that -- do I hear whispering in the weeds around my house?............ oh crap - they're just saying mow the lawn

I see you are a new member here - and have amazing hair to boot. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome

babyblonde · October 7th, 2004, 07:46 AM

Thanks, guys, you are so supportive. I think I will wait and look around here more. Maybe I'm not going to cut after all...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruin

I think your hair looks great and it looks like you take really good care of it.

Thanks, but that's (unfortunately) not me in my avatar pic. It's Hannah Spearritt. I used her pic because hers is the cut I was going to go for. My own hair is midback length and (still) with bangs.

purplebubba · October 7th, 2004, 07:50 AM

You know if you really like her cut, you could try a longer version where you maybe only lose a few inches. That would still give you the option of doing more later.

purplebubba · October 7th, 2004, 07:51 AM

But I would still give yourself those 2 weeks deciding time.

LILBERT · October 7th, 2004, 07:53 AM

Babyblonde, i had been telling myself for three years that once i grow my hair so long, i will cut it back to jaw length. it never happened. and i'm glad it didnt because i love my long hair now.
I hope you do too.

You must have pretty amazing hair to have all the stylists shocked at you cutting your hair. i mean, were all trying to get stylists to do microtrims because thats what we want, and the try to cut it all off. because thats what stylists do best, cut hair. and you walk in, asking for your hair to be cut and they're all like "no way". i'd say thats an amazing achievement.

Koehlle · October 7th, 2004, 07:54 AM

i wouldnt cut it if i were you! i would wait awhile

Fia · October 7th, 2004, 08:00 AM

Babyblonde - I think you made the right decision seeing that you had second thoughts when you were in the chair. As others have said - it's easy to cut it a few weeks later if you feel it's still the right thing to do. It's much harder to put it back again.

Bruin - welcome to the boards, and lovely hair!

/Fia

Faolin Ruadh · October 7th, 2004, 08:03 AM

Purplebubba has a great idea I think! Wait at least another two weeks and if you still have the burning desire to cut, do what makes you happy. If you afterwards change your mind, don't worry! It'll grow again! I'm sure your hair would be beautiful at any length, long or short. It's whatever makes you happy- that's what's important. And of course you would still be welcome here

There's no question of that!

Lilbert also has a wonderful point! That's so true, glad you mentioned that Lilbert

purplebubba · October 7th, 2004, 08:22 AM

I think it would help you a bunch if you sat down and wrote out your hair history. You can write about all the changes your hair has gone through in your life and whether they were by choice or not and if you liked them. That could be done in a journal or you can do that somewhere offline in a notebook. I think it really helps people here when they start journals because then they write out their feelings and they realize things they had forgotten. It worked for me.

I felt like a lousy piece of _____ when I started my journal. I was thinking to myself that I hope I can do something. Try a new product or snip some splits. Anything to prove to myself that I wasn't just a lazy bum with hair that got long on it's own with no help from me. I posted my hair history. I then posted a to do list with like 10 things. Some of which I thought were impossible. I had like 7 of them done within a week or two. I finally gave myself a reason. It was right there in front of my face where I could see my feelings.

There might be something in your past where you wanted your hair a certain way and couldn't have it. Or perhaps you did get it the way you wanted and didn't like it. It's just a matter of being honest with yourself and you'll find your path. When you do that no one can stop you.

AmberBella · October 7th, 2004, 03:51 PM

Just a caution. Be careful when deciding to have your hair cut like someone elses. Unless your hair is the same hair type as the hair style you desire, you likely won't get the same result.

Example: The person in your avitar appears to have very thin, fine, straight hair. If your hair happens to be thick and wavy, that style wouldn't look anything like hers on you.

I once took a pic into a salon (when I was 16 yrs old) and said, I want my hair cut like that....the stylist refused saying, my hair couldn't possibly look like that. I ended up getting a chin length bob that I hated and immediately began to grow it out again.