Gee, I wish I had a clever title...

[momma smurf]

Well, I'm pretty amazed at how fast my new hair is growing! I think it's just more noticable to go from none to some, than to go from long to longer. I'm still wearing my headwraps in public... not sure how long it'll have to get before I bare my head to the world! I must say, the headwraps are less comfy with hair under them... kinda pokey, so I don't know how much longer I'll be sportin' them. I'll miss them! Sorta...
Gotta give thanks again to everyone here... I've tried to explain to my friends IRL how much this place has helped me through all of this... it's hard to understand unless you've been here! It's not that there's no depth here... because there is truly depth in the relationships formed here... it's more that there's no baggage here. We can complain about whatever, or rave about whatever, and, unlike our dear friends IRL, the responses from here are not jaded with 15 years of history, taking a week off of correspondence isn't met with guilt... I love it here. And I thank all of my friends here!


Hair journal: still COing the fuzz.

[momma smurf]

Been kind of a tough week... me and my girls fighting off the flu, went to a funeral Wednesday for one of my mom's close friends... it was sad, of course, but he was very active in his church, and his wife has sooooo much positive support arounnd her that we left the funeral absolutely knowing she was going to be ok. All week, however, was spent thinking about my friend Mikey, who died last St. Patrick's day. We all went to his fathers house for corned beef and all the fixins, tried to celebrate and not be so sad, but I miss him terribly, he was a goof... the most lovable goof, and he was only 25 when he died. His mother, Julie, was the best friend I'll ever have, she died in 1997 at the age of 34. Right now we're staying with Julie's daughter... Mikey's sister, and her husband. It's been great. Today we are going to plant a bunch of beautifull flowers in the yard, and in some cool pots, and probably cry... but that's cool, it's allergy season, so it's easy to get away with watery eyes without having to have a "conversation" about it if we don't want to.
Today is going to be about relishing what we have.


Hair journal: I went without a head wrap for the first time in public Friday!

[momma smurf]

Been forever again since I've posted! Vacation was awesome. Went to Cali with my baby brother, 20, and baby sister, 18, and DD2 and DD9. Drove out there, the DVD in the backseat was fabulous. Loved loved visiting my favorite branch of my family... my uncle and his wife are songwriters/musicians, if you like blues, check out my uncle David Vidal on myspace or at cdbaby. My aunt's latest and greatest is her song on Nick Lacheys new album, the song is "Shades of Blue"... I'm not a NL fan, but I love the song! Their kids are my favorite cousins, we had a blast with them. Miss them all already. I'm so glad BB20 and BS18 came with us... BB20 is shipping out to Iraq in May. Scary. BS18 is off to basic training in May. It was so ncie to ahve some fun time with them before they leave!

Hair journal! I have more!

[momma smurf]

Been forever again! I've posted in my photo journal, but I've neglected this one as I always have so much to say, and not enough time to say it... Anyway, sorry to those who haven't been able to access the photo threads! Things are going well, my hair is really growing! This photo is from last week!


I'm excited about the growth... but it's still frustrating to have hair this short... but I'm glad it's this long at the same time!

Other stuff... my chemo nails are growing out, finally... they got soooo thin and fragile during chemo, and it's taken the weak parts awhile to grow back out. It's not been fun, they bend and crack and peel and break pretty far back, my nails were always pretty weak, but this has been ridiculous. I'm so glad they're growing out!
Also very very very very glad to have most of my eyelashes and eyebrows back!!! I always liked my lashes, but didn't realize how much they really do for a face until mine were gone. My brows were a love hate thing... loved them plucked, hated plucking them... but once again, had no idea really how important they are to a persons face. I'm so so so so so glad mine are back, I no longer look like a big featureless blur.
Also, very excited about my prosthetic boobies. My surgical consult isn't until June, so these will tide me over until I can get the real (unreal) things. They have helped balance out the wieght I put on during and since chemo... I love my new booty.
It was hard to feel like all visible aspects of my femininity were gone all at once... I was always rail thin, to be rail thin with no breasts can look boyish, to be rail thin with no breasts and no hair, moreso... rail thin with no breasts, no hair, no eyelashes... not fun anymore. So, slowly but surely they are all coming back. Well, the boobs will have to be PUT back, but the rest of my femininity is coming back on it's own.
Doing my first breast cancer walk tomorrow! I'm very excited, it's for The American Cancer Society... Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. I'm very excited to have raised my goal amount already! My friend Annie is walking with me. It should be awesome weather, should be a great time!

[momma smurf]

OMG. I have to vent. I promise I'll come back very soon with new hair photos and news... but I have to get this off my chest. Most people realize that life happens, things happen. As a craftperson I am oftentimes at the mercy of my equipment... as I was a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, my polisher was on the fritz, and I refunded shipping charges to several customers because the hairtoys were delayed... then I shipped them out asap, automatic emails are sent to notify people their items have been shipped... somtimes people's junk e-mail filters pick up paypal and ebay notifications... These hair sticks were a week and a half late, I was very apologetic, and refunded the shipping charges before these emails from him started coming... This is the one of the emails I got from him last weekend.

I still do not have the email or tracking number that you promised to send to me. AGAIN. This is not acceptable at this point. As far as I know you still haven't sent them. I don't want to hear one more excuse.If they haven't been shipped by yesterday, then I don't want them, I don't care how bad my wife wants them. It's not worth putting up with your excuses and incompetence. I can get hair sticks anywhere. My experience will be reflected in your feedback. All you had to do was fulfill your responsibility...! Folks like yourself are why I'm not buying things off of ebay anymore. Thanks for the great experience! And you can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister. "Sorry" doesn't cover this. So give me my money back, and I don't want to hear one word about it. You screwed up, I gave you a chance to make it right with no penalty, you declined. Fine, I'm done with you. I expect the money in my account by the end of today (Saturday May 5) or I will subrogate against you through Paypal.

Ooooooo, I'm scared. Whatever. Pompous ass. Can you spell "anger management"?

Hair Journal: It's growing!!

[momma smurf]

Been awhle... again, been a busy hectic frustrating couple of weeks... New hair photos soon... gotta get this all out first.

Spring of 1986, I was helping my mom put away the groceries. "Why did you get crackers with NO SALT?" I asked. "I'm pregnant." she replied.
Wow. Two days before my 15th birthday, my Baby Brother (not to be confused with Little Brother, who is just 3 years younger than me) was born. Baby sister followed 2 years later...
Anyway, Baby Brother is blonde, blue-eyed, dangerously smart. He loves music, the new alternative heavy metal is his favorite. He got into trouble a little in highschool, nothing major. He drank too much Mountain Dew, ignored curfew, and wouldn't clean his nasty bedroom. He loves double meat on his burgers, and lots of chile in his food... he loves super hot spicy food. He's a muscle car man, Trans-Ams in particular, and loves to work on them. He's hilarious, a jokester and a prankster, and my daughters adore him. He was there for me all through my chemo, helped me with my girls, helped me with the house, kept me company... I can't repay him, he didn't have to do it... I don't know how I would've done it without him. He's all grown up now... well, he's 20. Two years ago he decided to join the National Guard. He thrived... he came back from basic training taller and so obviously proud, with direction and motivation and confidence, and pride. Pride in himself and his abilities. He won awards, quickly moved up in rank, and was a part of the local Anti-drug Task Force, mentoring and teaching leadership classes to middle school kids. He loves his job, loves working with kids who are alot like he was, knows he can make a difference in their lives, and hopes to turn some of them around, get them back on track and out of trouble. He loves his job. Last Wednesday he was presented with his "SOLDIER OF THE YEAR" award. I am so proud of him. He is becoming the man I saw in him from the time he was a tiny boy. After the awards presentation, we all went to lunch, hung out and took pictures and laughed, my girls climbed all over him as usual, and as usual he made a fantastic jungle gym. After awhile, it was time to go... we gave hugs and kisses, tried not to cry, and said goodbye-for-now... he's off to Iraq. I miss him already.

I don't care about your politics... we need diverse views. But please, politics aside, these are real people, men and women, baby brothers, sisters, dads, moms, sons and daughters, aunt and uncles and cousins... They are not war-mongers. They are not excited at the prospect of having to kill people. They do not LIKE war. They believe that the job they are being sent to do is a noble one. They believe that they are being sent to help bring peace. Whether YOU believe it or not, it's what they believe, and they take this task on with pride and honor, and they deserve our utmost respect.

I love you, Baby Brother.

[momma smurf]

I started this thread, for anyone who wants to write, or just read, about loved ones in the military.
I hope everyone can keep it supportive, and keep politics to a minimum.