I need help from my fellow LHC friends on how to get my DS15 hair to grow without looking like Bozo the Clown. He has wanted to grow his hair for the passed 3 years and due to school rules he was not allowed to. Since then we have moved to an area where they allow longer hair as long as it's neat.

He has 3a/3b?/c/iii hair that could be listed as iiii hair if it was an option. Anytime we start to let it go for any length it starts puffing out at the sides by his ears and just looks horrible. Can anyone help us with this growing out stage? We finally broke down and had to go get a trim so his hair is now between 2 1/2 to 3" long if pullled by a single hair from his head. Should we keep the sides shorter and let the top grow longer to maybe weigh down the sides as the top comes down over the sides? Is there another method to get this to work so he doesn't look so silly and get made fun of at school for having poofy clown hair?

We also are having a problem finding products that work on his hair. He seems to constantly have dandruff, I think because his hair is so thick and hard to rinse, but I was thinking of using some of my Jessicurl stuff on his hair and acv rinses to see if that helps witht that part. He is using up my Nizoral like crazy and it's not helping much, only a little.

Help lost and don't know what to do to help him with his hair issues. After years I have given up and coming here for help.

Edited to add that I would also like some hairstyle/updo advice for when his length starts growing in again.

Lucky him to have such thickness! It may be a pain now but it will look incredible once it's grown out.

Each guy has their own method and advice. This is what I did:

I kept cutting the back for the first 7 months. This prevented a mullet look and the longer top hair did help to weigh it all down. After that, no cutting except tiny yearly trims.

Gel, often mega-mega hold, became my best friend. My morning routine was to slightly dampen my hair and spread this through it. I would brush it straight back. This kept it from looking too poofy. Even after the gel dried, the hair would stay pretty much in place. Of course, my hair is not as thick as your son's so he will no doubt have more poofiness.

Around the 20 month mark, I could wear a secure ponytail which obviated the need for gel in my hair. Even without the gel, my hair weighed enough at that point that it would stay in place a lot better. From there is just gets easier.

The awkward stage is definitely harder for guys but it's worth it! With kids being how they can be, I'm sure he'll get a certain amount of teasing. I don't know how that can be avoided because some insecure kids like to pick on anyone who is a bit different. I bet a lot of kids though will think it's cool.

Best of luck!

Cool, I wasn't even thinking of keeping the back cut for the first few months to let the top catch up a bit. We definitely do not want the mullet look lol. I suppose we need to find a gel that will hold his hair. It would have to be reeaalllyy strong.

You have some very helpfull tips and can't wait to share them with him when he gets home today.

I'm hoping I can get him to join here and ask his own questions but for now mom is doing it so I can teach him basic stuff first.

Thank you Jason

Cool, I wasn't even thinking of keeping the back cut for the first few months to let the top catch up a bit. We definitely do not want the mullet look lol. I suppose we need to find a gel that will hold his hair. It would have to be reeaalllyy strong.

You have some very helpfull tips and can't wait to share them with him when he gets home today.

I'm hoping I can get him to join here and ask his own questions but for now mom is doing it so I can teach him basic stuff first.

Thank you Jason

You're welcome. It would be awesome if he joined. He'd get tons of support.

The gel that worked best for me was LA Looks mega mega hold. They rate their hold level at 1-10 on their various products and this was rated 10.

Do you guys oil your hair too? I am wondering if I should start getting him to put a tad of oil on the ends to protect them or wait til it gets longer and then start having him oil? Do you do deep treatments? I know what us women do but guys are kinda funny about stuff lol.

Or you could just grow out the back, like mine =]. It would be a mullet if I shave the front/top, but I just leave the front length to above my lips.. I don't like it any longer.

I think you should get him on Bargello's regimen so the new growth will be at its finest condition. Also, I remember having dandruff at that age, so it could be a common condition for our age group. Does he use gel? Don't use it anymore. Things like beeswax, leave ins or oils are great alternatives. I mean, some gel aren't bad but I've never really liked putting it in my hair.

What current routine, or routines have you used on your hair that might work for your son?

I find that oiling doesn't moisturize the hair, or help the ends, and will help dry it out if there is no moisture. Do an SMT for 1 hour everyday for 2 weeks and follow with diluted ACV rinses and see if it improves the condition of his hair.
If not, try the CA method and then do the SMTs

about the thickness of his hair on the side.. does it stick straight out? or does it wave back?

As for me, no one has made fun of my hair yet, but if they do I'll just make fun of how shitty looking their hair looks. I've even had a couple girls complimenting my hair and one said that she liked my hair more than her own. o.O

Do you guys oil your hair too? I am wondering if I should start getting him to put a tad of oil on the ends to protect them or wait til it gets longer and then start having him oil? Do you do deep treatments? I know what us women do but guys are kinda funny about stuff lol.

I don't do deep treatments but I use jojoba oil quite regularly. I wonder if that might help his scalp condition. I know it's pretty oily to use on the scalp and I don't normally use it there but lately I've had some itchiness and soreness there and the jojoba has helped.
Otherwise I just use it on the lower portion of my hair.

BLACKHOLESUN, he hasn't used any kind of gel in over a year but has been fighting this flaking for a couple now.

Iam working on getting him into vitamins, not an easy one there. Trying to convince him that it will help the over all health of is body, skin and hair. Working on it though.

The routine I have had to go back to is the Jessicurl line. Very natural and moisturizing. I am thinking of trying to get him to try it. Also use jojoba or coconut oil on my hair when extremely wet to hold in as much moisture as possible. Very little of it though, only one to two drops every wash. SMT is a good idea and will see if I can get him to do it without thinking it's too girlish lol. You knows boys at that age.

With his hair thickness and curliness, think of a poodle that hasn't been trimmed in a while. It doesn't stick straight out but it doesn't wave back, it just looks like a poof ball if that makes sense but it's only on the sides where his hair grows down where the side burns would be.

Jason, I was thinking the same thing about trying a little jojoba on just the spots that itch, not the entire scalp or we could have a real oily mess, if the more moisturizing way doesn't work. I'm thinking that he could just have really dry scalp and hair from lack of moisure? Not sure but this stuff is worth a try.

You guys are being a great help and I so appreciate it.

Well I have psoriasis not regular dandruff - but stuff like Nizoral just made it worse. Switching to CO is the best thing for the scalp. All the cleansers just dry it out and make it worse. You might have him try it.

My boyfriend also has just been growing out his hair for the first time and got bozo head for awhile. He is now at about 6 inches when you pull out the curl (which is weighing itself out a bunch now) and has is blond from his outside job. So he has a cross between surfer hair and emo curly. Well it is actually Bo Duke hair. But you can tell your son he isn't alone. I can send you pics if you want to show him. Suave mega gel for men works good. Garnier leave in for curly hair (full of cones) seems to help weigh it down. He uses the full dose of heavy cone stuff right now as he washes every day and he wants it weighed down until he can pull it all back. People still make fun of him sometimes, but he's 42 and an acomplished sword fighter - its easier to let it roll off at that stage than at 15.

I had the poofy problem when growing out from very short, too. Here are some things that I did to control it that might be acceptable to a guy:
1) Gel.
2) Blow-drying, but keep it cool and gently pull out with the fingers or shower comb until damp-dry, then a slightly curved brush to direct away from face.
3) Combing straight back when wet and then pulling on a close-fitting hat (like a ski cap or skull cap) to keep it that way.
4) Wearing a bandana/scarf tied pirate-style.

When I needed trims (which I had every 6 weeks), I had the stylist take it into a progressively longer layered kind of style, plus keep the bottom trimmed to a neat line. By the end of 5 years - long hair and no more layers.

To help with the dandruff and rinsing, you might consider a hand-held shower head thingy (<~technical term).

LadyChristmas I would love it if you could send pictures for him to see. He may get a different perspective on his hair growing passed that stage because that's the stage we always wind up cutting at.

I have psoriasis as well, which might be what he is starting to show signs of, but thought we would try a few different routines. I would like to try the JC first since I have it at hand and if that doesn't help try getting him to do the condition only. Not hard to get him to take extra long showers but it's hard to get him to rinse his hair that long lol.

I want to try lower sulfate shampoos and no cones since he's been using whatever is in the bathroom and that stuff contains both. I know if I stick cones and strong sulfates on my head I have terrible scalp issues.

Lots of good ideas, keep them coming everyone. I so appreciate the support and help.

Hugs

Oh Spidermom, I love the pirate-style bandana trying, he may like that to. I could try and teach him to blow dry and control it that way that's another topic we are working on lol, boys don't blow dry their hair mom. Ha! I have offered to teach him several times though.

The kids bathroom has the hand held show thingy, hehe. Wish I had one in my bathroom, argh heh the pirate slipped through.

Thank you for your help Spidermom.

I will show him all these posts and Jasons sideburn pictures and see how he would like to start his venture again.

Another question I have is what kinds of conditioners should I try first for my sons hair type for CO? Anyone have a clue? My hair is finer than his and has a different curl so I am at a loss as to what to try.

Winter is coming. How about put a hat on while it's still damp? That should flatten the hair quite a bit. :) My husband wore baseball cap a lot.

Have you looked into the Curly Girl Method? Washing with conditioner instead of shampoo might moisturize his hair enough that it will start relaxing and not get frizzy/going horizontal. :)

Sapphire-o, he does wear a baseball cap when he isn't in school he takes it off when we go out to dinner.

Josephine, I do have the CG book and have talked to him about the CO. We are going to try it for a couple weeks and see how it works for him.

Thank you for you replies, I appreciate all the help.

flakes:
on my son, (thick, thick hair, wavy) this seems to be both age related and rinse impairment. I wash his hair for him at the sink when it gets heinous to prove my point. Or he likes the scalp massage. Whatever.
growing it out.
no "chipping in" by a stylist. He might still want an occasional pro cut until he can pull it into a ponytail.
and what is neat anyway? I doubt you son has a full blown fro, so until the school says something, let it go.

henna or cassia treatments?

I just wanted to applaude you for supporting your son in wanting to grow his hair. That is totally awesome!

My long haired guy friends tell me they mainly relied on gel to get past the poofy days and hats when not at school/work where they needed to look nice. For the thick curly hair, it takes longer before it starts to lay down unfortunately. My brother tried to grow his out but he has extremely coarse kinky (like 4aCiii) thick hair and it just grew into a fro. It literally felt like a wire brush. In the end after getting it to be about 10 inches long (strand, not our normal measuring method) and it was just getting bigger, taller, and more and more like a clowns hair (it was naturally auburn too) he ended up just shaving it. Since he became a Marine later that year, it was all pretty much ok.

I really hope that he succeeds in his long hair goals, it is such a wonderful thing to see long haired men too.

Truepeacenik, I have tried the washing and rinsing it myself method but he still gets flakes. Going to try getting him on CO and see how he does with that. He has decided to grow no matter what so we will see how he takes it at school, hopefully I can help him get passed the rude kids. It very well may grow into a fro, I don't know it's been since he was about 2 since he's had long hair. But that doesn't matter to him lol. We are going to get it trimmed as little as possible and hopefully at some point I will be able to do it for him instead of a pro.

Isilme, the only thing he would put in his hair is blue hair die and he can't do that. Any other color is a no go. At this point we are going to start cone free and possibly go natural care and see how his hair does. Cassia is an option later down the road if nothing else works.

Velvetcat, thank you for the encouraging words. I am so sorry your brother had to struggle with having a fro. I am hoping my son doesn't have that when his hair gets longer. He has already stated if he does have a fro he wants dreads or cornrows lol. I laughed my butt off and told him no way on that one. I just don't think they would look right on him. We will see as it gets longer what it does. We are having a hard time finding a gel that will hold on his hair through the day. So far no luck. We are still looking though.