Well I dont know why, but sometimes when all the stress builds up it just explodes have you ever had that feeling? My mom goes out a lot and her friend's daughter comes over most of the time who is soo soo soo annoying, I love kids but this one is soo argh. So just this one night I was hoping that my bf and i can spend new years together, and my mom and dad were gonna go out which I totally didnt mind until she said she was gonna bring her friend and I was like uhh no i cant watch her daughter cause I already had plans, but it was too late they were on there way and no one wants to watch her daughter so she leaves her to me. I got really mad hoping I can spend new years with my bf having fun instead of having the responsibility to take care of this girl. This lil girl does not listen at all I cant tolerate her anymore thats how bad it is for me.

I just got so mad I dont know why all this build up piling on me just had to explode and I just started crying!, I just got so upset saying I dont want to watch this girl, I even mentioned my mom about myspace how she is flirting with guys and giving them phone numbers! I dontknow why i said that cause it wasnt even the subject that I was upset at in the first place but all that just came out of my mouth. I said " why you hide dads pictures when you had that party, why you told this guy that you werent married" etc etc. and she said " I cant believe you are talking to me like this do you want your dad and i to divorce!? and that guy likes my friend not me!" But then still why say you are single even though you dont like that guy it doesnt make since to me!
she said "I tell you and your brother everything!" But when she tells us these things it doesnt make up when she tells us to not tell our dad that she has a myspace that just makes us more suspicious you know?

then she said "dad cheated on me a few times while he was on his trips! you dont know what I am going through, i cant believe you are talking to your mother like this I tell you everything I give you everything! I never cheated on dad I am so hurt by you why are you saying these things!" Then I said "you are always going out clubbing and never spend time with me" and she said "i can go out clubbing whenever I want!! you are always with your bf!" Yeah I am with him most of the time but at those time shes with her friends too so i cant really say much about that.

SHe said I was acting immature (which I was bout watching the girl) but god I dont know why i just started crying. She said all those guys on myspace were just for fun to flirt with. But still it gets me confused why she give them her phonenumber but I didnt want the fight to get worse. I dont know I feel bad for mentioning all that, I asked my little brother if I overreacted and he said "its ok just dont say anything more or else it will get worse".

I dont know I love my mom i just wished i didnt have to explode like I did just a couple hours ago, I just went overboard with everything ugh.

I just wanted to give you a {hug} and let you know that blow-ups happen to most of us at one time or another.

I will leave the advice giving for those here at LHC who are much wiser than I. Hopefully they will find this thread soon.

May your tomorrow be better than your today.

Dvips

Pinky,

I am so sorry that you are in the middle of what's going on between your mom and dad. This is totally unfair to you, and I think you are being very mature in how you are dealing with it. I actually do not blame you for being upset that you had to babysit. Maybe when both you and your mom have calmed down, you can discuss the babysitting issue with her. Let her know that you will babysit, but that she needs to ask you ahead of time (and maybe even pay you?), and not just assume that you will do it anytime she would like you to.

As far as the situation between your parents goes, I would recommend you stay out of it as best you can. I know it is hard, my mom dragged me into her relationship with my dad from the time I was 10 or 12, and it took me a long time to get her to stop. I am glad that you and your brother stick together--my younger brother and I had a unique relationship because we had to support each other, sometimes against (or maybe despite) our parents. He is my best friend now.

Hang in there, be strong, and love your brother, and your mom and dad. I feel for you--I was there too.

Pinky,

I am so very sorry. I hope you will feel better! Hugs! (((((((Pinky))))) :grouphug:

Yuck, I am sorry you are upset. I would be upset over the babysitting thing. Could you talk to her mom?

Maybe tomorrow or when things calm down you and your mom can talk or go shopping for time together, but I agree try to stay out of you and your dad's stuff. Even I know it is tough, TRUST me it is tough!

As the mom of a very mouthy daughter, I want to reassure that we moms love our daughters so much that bad arguments like that are OVER as soon as they are over, which is usually when everybody's feelings have calmed down. Just do something nice for her or with her. Anything you said that you feel was wrong - admit it.

The issue of your mom's friend showing up expecting you to babysit is not between you and your mom. It is between you and that girl's mom. I wouldn't talk to your mom about it at all. Tell the pesky little girl's mom. When she shows up expecting you to babysit, you are well within your rights to say "No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. I have plans." Really - the nerve! I would never expect my daughter to allow herself to be used that way.

Pinky I just want to hug you and let you know that it is going to be okay.
I agree with Spidermom that the issue isn't between you and your mom on the babysitting, but between you and that girls mom.

But I also think that part of the blowup with your mom could have been that she felt guilty for her friend just dumping her daughter on you with no warning... I could be wrong, but it could be.

Your mom sounds like she is going through alot of emotions right now and your being 18 could well be part of it. She is wanting to have a friend and so she wants to get you in her corner but then she wants to be able to tell you what to do, when it is more convenient. (Babysitting the friends daughter).

Don't allow yourself to be put in the middle. If something makes you uncomfortable let her know, but in a nonthreatening way. And maybe not at that time. Pick your times wisely.


Just try to patch it up and be supportive but not a doormat. Let her know that you won't take sides between your parents. Give you Bro a hug he sounds like a good one... Peace in all that you do...
Hugs.
:grouphug:

Hi Pinky,

just wanted to let you know that I absolutely second what Shell wrote.

Hugs from Germany to you

Jorunn

It sounds like your mom is going through a rough patch, but she should NOT be burdening you with details of her & your dad's private relationship, or with her "extracurricular activities". You have to be the grown-up here (sadly) as it sounds like she's not ready to. i totally agree with the previous advice above, politely declining to babysit with the other mother. If she wants you to sit for her, she can call in advance and ASK, like any responsible adult would. I'm sorry you have to deal with this nonsense. {{HUGS}}

{{HUGS}} I know what you are going through. I have been there and I promise you it will get better. Take it from someone who was first to find out about my moms cheating ways and forced not to say anything.