I hope this is in the right place. I am a little upset with my daughters school. Or should I say a specific person at he school. I am not sure exactly who she is, I hear she is like a para or something similiar. Here is the story...My kids picked out there own costumes. 1, the youngest, was a witch, (store bought) she doesnt go to school yet. The oldest, was a pop star, and had put together her own costume. She had an idea and she ran with it, I was sooo proud. I helped a little, but it was basically her own idea. This person told my daughter she could hang out in the bathroom with her if she wanted to since she had a "homemade" costume. There were 2 kids in the entire school who did this, and they happened to be in the same class. The other was a boy. So I dont think she got to him. Anyways, this comment made my confident daughter think twice about her costume. I think that her idea and creativity deserve praise, not trying to make her badly about herself. I dont know what the person meant by what they did, I am just a little upset about the way it was done. I would have been very upset to find her crying in the bathroom over her costume not being good enough. Thank goodness she is not like that. When by all means it was good enough. Thank you for listening.

I am sorry you had this come up---no quicker way to get a mom fired up than to "hurt" her child. I have been dealing with some similar issues with my daughter girls can be sooo "Catty". I have noticed in my daughter's class at school the girls can't even give each other an honest compliment. I have talked to my dd and told her to try to find something good and uplifting to say to her female classmates. There just seems to be soo much competition between them.

Good grief, what is wrong with that woman? :nono: I would be angry too. :mad

What are rude and insensitive thing to say to someone. I think its great that your daughter took the time to "think out of the box" and be creative.

But in all honesty parents don't know the half of what girls go through in school, its a hard, cruel world. I believe firmly that every parent of a girl should pick up and read the book Queen Bees & Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. It gives insight into the dynamics of schools, and what girls face.

... I believe firmly that every parent of a girl should pick up and read the book Queen Bees & Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. It gives insight into the dynamics of schools, and what girls face.

Excellent idea, I agree, that is a very insightful book. :thumbsup:

Running out to the bookstore right now!

Sigh.... Takes me back to the good old days when we were poor and couldn't afford new clothing very often. I would find treasures in a thrift store or be given something by somebody from our church - old fashioned stuff, a lot of the time, but I would put together an outfit that I just loved and wear it to school. The ridicule would start the minute I stepped onto the bus. It would come from the bus driver as well as some of the teachers, not only from the kids. It never made me stop wanting to put together my own unique outfits, but it sure made me want to stop going to school.

Excellent idea, I agree, that is a very insightful book. :thumbsup:

I will mention that book to a friend with a daughter in first grade. I am horrified how girls manipulate each other's emotions in these young grades. So sad.

Anyone know of a similar book for boys?

Boys seem to let things roll off their backs a bit better than girls do. My perception anyway.

That is horrible, a child who had a homemade costume should be complimented and praised rather than made to feel insecure. I mean, really, how much work and ingenuity does it take to just buy a costume? I always felt so loved and special because my mom made my costumes for me. I was everything from Saturn, to an earthquake, to a pink shark for Halloween, and I bet I had more fun.

Thank you for making me feel, NOT SO CRAZY. I just thought what the heck kind of grown up would do that? She is in second grade. I would have happily bought her a costume. But it was her idea, I hope she doesnt take this too harshly and quit being original, or quit liking school. I had what I believe is was a long and thoughtful talk with her about things people say, wether big or small. And how she can be herself. I know how harsh people can be, I was a poor kid, I am not rich, but I can afford to buy my kid clothes she enjoys wearing. Maybe not at the mall, but she always looks good. LOL Thanks again for the support.

Thank you for making me feel, NOT SO CRAZY. I just thought what the heck kind of grown up would do that?

Maybe you should call the school and ask her. That way, you will know if it was a misunderstanding, or if she really is that big of a jerk. Also, you can get her side of it, and you can let her know how unhappy you are.

Anyone know of a similar book for boys?

Boys seem to let things roll off their backs a bit better than girls do. My perception anyway.

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon. It appears that boys let things "roll off their back" because in our society we have made them feel like they cannot express emotion. Boys have to be "tough" "macho". But truth of the matter is, they are just as at risk as girls.

I can't believe someone would say something like that! Firtstly, I'm supprised that it appears that mose kids have their costumes store brought at the school. Not being American, we never dressed up or did anything for halloween, it was just normal old school uniform, but once we had a shakesphere day, not around halloween I'll add, and we wll had homemade costumes, I mean, they're free, and its not like its something you're going to wear very much, once a year maybe, so why waste the money? besides that, its so easy to go out any buy a costume, and I bet its even eaiser in America with actually having halloween and stuff there. But putting one together yourself, now that takes time and thought and imagination.

We all think your daughter's wonderful for putting together her own costume, I bet it was better than any of the store brought ones!

Girls CAN be so catty though. I remember at one school I went to, whenever we had mufti day (a day when you didn't have to wear the school uniform for a gold coin donation, the money would go to a charity. sometimes we would also do a donation to the food bank too) there was this girl at my school who always 'forgot' and came in uniform, because she didn't think her clothes were 'cool enough'. Most people would chuck on jeans and a t-shirt, but the 'popular' group (aka the catty b..., uh, starts with 'b' and rhyms wuth 'itches' who nobody liked but they thought they were cool as they were rich) always dressed in the latest designer clothes, and would look down on everyone else, so this girl would 'forgoe' rather than be hassled by them. Its so sad what girls cn do to each other. I found fourth form (year ten, when we were 14) the worst year. we were just discovering boys, starting or had just started puberty, starting to 'get' fashion and singers and bands and forming little cliques. year nine wasn't as bad as that was the first year of college, and you were called 'turds' by the older grades and had to stick together, but year ten you were past that.... At least things got steadily better after that with people concentrating on their studies or just leaving school completly.

I hope your daughter won't be too upset by what was said to her, and I hope she'll put topgether her own costume next year too!

That's so stupid. I think your daughter should be applauded for having her own costume idea. I have made up my own costumes for the past few years. It always looks so much cooler if you make your own costume or combine your own costume with storebought costume parts.Much more creative and refreshing. I'm not spendng money on some plastic cape or dress. That's fine for others,but I'd rather make my own. I'm sure your daughter's costume looked very realistic and cool! :rockerdud Plus,making and decorating your own costue is fun!

And yes,girls are catty and cruel many times. Me and my sister have been treated bady many times.