Okay, DS and DD have been in this family daycare for a while. We put them in it because DP and I were working and we needed one that would take them during the hours both of us were working.

Last week, because the kids were "sick" I had to skip a day of training. I've since dropped out of training because of problems with the facilitators and two of the other women.

A couple of nights ago, I took DD in to the clinic because she had a "weird" cough. Doc said it was viral and to keep her out of daycare. So I decided to keep both out yesterday and today.

Today, I was in the crapper (cause nature bellows for me) and I heard DS hitting DD outside the door and saying stuff like "Don't tell!" and "Dummy (dd's name)" over and over again. This went on the entire time I was in there and in fact, I stayed in there just to listen to this.

I'm horrified. I don't think its the daycare woman, but her husband saying this to DS. He's far too rough with him when I have seen him deal with DS.

I don't know if I should confront them or what. I know that there have been many times where both DS and DD had been in dirty diapers for hours there. I wish I had been journalling what was going on. Then I could see if there was a trend.

But I'm not letting them go back there. No way. I'm going to brainstorm with my social worker if he gets back to me today. IF. Oi vey.

what a terrible experence. I am glad you found out as soon as you did tho. For nursing school we had to go and spend a long day at a day care and it was horrible. most of the ones around here would not live up to my standards of care. But I am a very picky mom. I often feel sorry for moms who have no choice but to work and leave there kids in someone elses care in hopes they take good care of them.

Oy indeed! I hope the social worker gets back to you SOON.

I'll keep my proverbial fingers crossed!

Dvips

I feel bad for you. This is one of my worst fears about daycare. I'm glad to hear that you're not sending them anymore. Hopefully you and the social worker can figure something out and that those people get reported. :grouphug:

No social worker call back. DP thinks that DS might have picked it up at that GF's place we were staying at for two months because her DD kept on telling her DS to "don't tell" and that he was a dummy. DP would spy on the kids and caught their DD in a lie several times as well as doing bad things too.

I hope that's where DS got it from. But that means something might have happened to their DD....

I know many people that have worked in daycares, and they all swear that they are horrible places. What you said about that daycare doesn't surprise me.

he did it again. Started to hit her and call her dummy. ARGH!

and of course, with the stupid teacher's strike and the sympathy rally today, there was no call from my social worker.

Argh!

I was hoping that it was picked up from GF's house (well, you know what I mean) because then at least you could still trust the daycare (and perhaps the "don't tell" was for something as innocent as "don't tell mommy daddy lets you eat destert first" or somesuch).

I agree - Argh!

Scream away - we'll at least listen and sympathize...

Dvips

I am so sorry I know how it feels to worry that your children are being mistreated. Have you tried just casually talking to your son about this? I don't know how old he is but if you just act like your just curious not "freaking out mom" mode you might find out where this came from. I try to spend cuddle time with each of my kids individually before bed they know the more they talk the longer the alone time with mom lasts so needless to say that both my kids find lots to talk about.lol

is there any way u can stay home while dp works? personally, i think daycare is just awful

I have been. the daycare was original ordered by a social worker over a year ago.... long story short, i had to drop out of the course I was taking cause DD was sick. So I can stay home now. But I want DS to go to preschool. So I need to find him one.

I know many people that have worked in daycares, and they all swear that they are horrible places. What you said about that daycare doesn't surprise me.


I don't argue that many people that are in the daycare business should not be. We hear about it on the news everyday. But what we don't hear about are the wonderful daycare mom's who love our kids, start their day at 5 AM and don't end it until 6PM. They rock the kids who are sick while waiting for the Mom to come back and get them when if the Mom had any commen sense they would already be at home or at the Dr with them. Often don't get paid on time, if at all. The daycare mom's that have the patience of saints while dealing with children that are so catered to at home they are mean and nasty to other children who are just trying to get along and play with them. My dear MIL is one of those daycare mom's and has been for 35 years. She loves her kids and her job. I only wish there were more like her and none like we hear of on the news.

My niece was a few months old, and she and her 5 yr. old brother started in an immaculate daycare center. Thank God Brother was there, b/c on the very first day, he reported to my brother that Melissa was *slapped* in the face by the ONLY worker, the owner. There were supposed to be four people! Anyway, it took a letter from my other brother, an attorney, for them to get a refund.
In parting, the "caretaker" cast a spell upon our entire family. I remember telling my former SIL that the certification which impressed her doesn't mean squat! One must have a love for children that a PhD cannot replace. Sorry for your horrible experience, Mamid. :rockerdud Hugs, Bob

Both our sons have been to the same nursery (youngest is still there) and they're very quick to pick up on anti-social behaviour - they always phrase it in terms of 'x has been having trouble with another child' so you never get to know the other child's name from them.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are your kids? Ours go through thumping spells, though it's generally our three year old duffing over his big brother who'se too gentle to whack him back. I hate to say this, but kids (especially boys) do have violent spells - we never hit ours and go to great lengths to make sure that they know not to use violence to settle their differences. But they still do. I can vouch for the fact that they don't need to be taught to do this kind of stuff, small kids can do it without instruction!

I would be far more concerned about finding out why he was hitting her, and getting him to stop doing it and her to stop whatever she was doing which made him do it!

A few years ago in our area, a woman had to actually break into a day care to get her infant. The last worker had left and locked up, leaving the baby inside the day care! Needless to say, that day care is now out of business.

It's horrific to leave your children with someone else anyway, but then to have your worst fears confirmed by the carelessness of people who should never be working with children...? It's horrible. I'm lucky in the day care that I found. It's on our local university campus and is run by women who are getting their degrees in early childhood development, teaching, etc. I'm very impressed with the care my 4 year old is receiving.

Most of the time, a mother has to work outside the home in order to provide that very home, so she has no choice but to leave her children with others. There is no easy answer, is there?