Hm, this is going to sound weird I'm afraid, but here goes.

I got pregnant last year and I was expecting a wonderful little boy. Unfortunately, I lost my baby in the later months (I was more than 7 months pregnant). He was my first.
Tests were carried on my baby, and we found out that he had a problem that might be genetic : it could be related to a problem on the 'X' chromosome (we're not sure yet, further tests are going to be done, that would take approx. 5 or 6 months... :( ).
If it turns out that is the case, this could mean that I'm a carrier of the disease, which doesn't affect girls but which they might transmit to their sons. My daughters would all be fine, while my sons would have 50% odds of having the same disease and die :(

We're not sure yet that this is the case, and we are waiting for the results of the tests in order to diagnose early in a future pregnancy. However we are determined to get maximum chances on our side, which means trying to have a girl.

Now I know that there is no way of choosing the gender of your baby for sure, and that most of the stories are superstitions that don't work. But being superstitious is all I have left as medecine seems to be failing me...
I just need a piece of hope, and I'll take it from wherever I can find it.

So I'm collecting old wives' tales here, about trying to have a baby girl or a baby boy :)

There is a section in the book Taking Charge of your Fertility that goes into a little detail about choosing the gender of your baby. I don't have it hear with me to quote it but maybe someone else can.

There is a section in the book Taking Charge of your Fertility that goes into a little detail about choosing the gender of your baby. I don't have it hear with me to quote it but maybe someone else can.


I was just going to say that! I'm at work, though, so I don't have the book with me either. Good luck, and sorry to hear of your problems. I'll be thinking about you!

It has to do with the timing of when you have intercourse in relation to when you ovulate. I think that is it that the day of or day before will give you a boy whereas several days before will give you a girl. The idea is that boy sperm swim faster and would get to the egg first. If there is no egg yet they will die off and the slower swimming girl sperm would reach the egg.

I'll see if I can find where I read that. :)

snow white is right... x-sperms are slower but live longer (generally speaking) then y-sperms, hence the chances of getting a girl will increase if having intercourse a couple of days before ovulation, whereas the chance for getting a boy increases if having sex just around ovulation, as the y-sperms generally are faster.

of course, it's not foolproof, as there always are exceptions to any rule.

I'm really interested in this, too. For various reasons that I won't go into, I only want a girl. I have done some research and I know that if you centrifuge the sperm the heavier ones (X) go to the bottom and the lighter ones (Y) go to a higher level. Thus you choose which you want and put the sperm up there at the right time. I believe that the stats were something like 90+ for female and lower (maybe 70-80%) for a male child. I don't remember where I read this study and I don't know if practitioners will do this, but you might talk to your doctor and/or write other doctors to see if they'd be willing to work on this with you.

I'm really interested in this, too. For various reasons that I won't go into, I only want a girl. I have done some research and I know that if you centrifuge the sperm the heavier ones (X) go to the bottom and the lighter ones (Y) go to a higher level. Thus you choose which you want and put the sperm up there at the right time. I believe that the stats were something like 90+ for female and lower (maybe 70-80%) for a male child. I don't remember where I read this study and I don't know if practitioners will do this, but you might talk to your doctor and/or write other doctors to see if they'd be willing to work on this with you.

Yes, it is possible. But :
- the procedure can only be started once you are sure that you have a genetic disease which would threaten the life/health of a baby of a specific gender, or the mother. In my case, it's still not certain, and the tests will take about 6 months.
- There is a huge waiting list : my doctor told me it would be at least 2 years before starting the procedure.
- The procedure doesn't work every time, meaning the odds of being pregnant with that procedure are about 20%. Not taking into accounts the error rate (getting a boy instead of a girl or the contrary).

So it's at least 3 years (being very optimistic) before being pregnant. That's for my first child. Add another 2 or 3 years if I want another...

It seems to me that the "natural" way is more effective, considering that there is a risk of the disease but it's not proven yet, and the risk is all in all rather low (I think they're taking precautions with the further testing, to be on the safe side).

And waiting, at this point, is just unbearable. :(
(I'm quite angry at the doctors right now because the tests could and should have been started months ago and for some reasons they wasted a lot of time.)

Maybe you could get genetic counseling? Instead of doing it through your doctor?

Maybe you could get genetic counseling? Instead of doing it through your doctor?

Actually the doctor I was talking about is a genetic counselor. My "regular" doctor didn't know there could be complications (it's a very rare disease apparently).

I hope it's not so and you get a healthy little one soon :grouphug:

I have no personal experience with gender selection, but I came across the ideas when studying NFP. You might want to check out this book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/038548562X/qid=1127427165/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-6179337-0495938?v=glance&s=books&n=507846).

This is kinda what we learned in school to help people concieve it is not 100% science but the results are pretty good and tested.

For a baby boy, the Y sperm need to be more plentiful and to make their way to the egg easier and faster.

Avoid sexual activity for three to four days before the calculated ovulation date.
No hot tubs or hot baths for the man at least one week before this time. He should also avoid wearing briefs.
Have intercourse one time only on the ovulation date. Use condoms for any subsequent sexual activity.
The man should drink coffee or caffeinated soda two hours before sex; this increases sperm counts.
After sex, the woman should lie still for 20 minutes.
Avoid artificial lubricants.


For a baby girl, the X sperm need to be more plentiful.
To lower the sperm count, have frequent intercourse on days 5 through 8 of the woman’s cycle.
On days 9, 10 and 11, have daily intercourse.
The sexual position should be face to face.
Avoid artificial lubricants.
No sex on days 12, 13 or 14, or for at least two days after ovulation, except with condoms.


Ive heard of the amount you do it will determine the sex of the child long before I went to nursing school and then when I went they told how that was and I found it interesting that it actually was true.There is a reason to back it up.

There is a doctor who lives here in Perth that has done a lot of work on this. He works with Muscular Dystrophy - he can give the disease to Quokkas (a small marsupial) and cure them, but he hasn't yet made the link to humans. As part of his work, he's done a lot of work on choosing the sex of babies. (MD only affects boys, girls are carriers)

The methods he uses are similar to what other people have suggested here, boy sperm swim faster and die quicker compared to girl swimmers.

You used to be able to get a kit from him with everything you needed - my mother and father used it in the late 70's to try for a little girl... me! :inlove:

I know I've posted the details on this forum before, but I can't find the post. I can't for the life of me remember the doctors name! I've left a message for my mum, so as soon as she gets back to me I'll post it here and you can check out his research if you like.

Ali

ETA: Found my old post, the guy's name is Byron Kakulas, and it looks like he's still working for the University of WA. His email address seems to be bkakulas@cyllene.uwa.edu.au . If you're interested in following this up and are having any trouble getting info, I'd be happy to call him for you :flower: Good luck and keep us posted!

Thank you all.

I had heard of the 'slow X / fast Y' method, but I wasn't really sure how well it worked. It seems it has a good success rate - of course it's not 100% but it seems to raise the probabilities.

I have to wait at least until december before trying to conceive again, as we need the results of the test to diagnose my baby early it it turns out I'm a carrier. In the meantime, I'm going to research this method.
(and if wanting a girl means more intercourses, that's a good thing :inlove: ;) )

LadyGrey, first off, I'll be praying for your healthy and successful pregnancy in the future. Secondly, I don't know if this is a wives' tale, but I learned it back in my college chem class:

When the topic came up, my professor answered that in addition to "slow x, fast y" we had to remember that semen is a slightly basic fluid while vaginal secretions are slightly acidic. Y-sperm is faster, but x-sperm has more protection against the acid. Her suggestion for a woman wanting to have a girl was to be on top and "get off" first.

If you find out that you need to be sure about this, it may be possible to be certain using in-vitro-fertilization or artificial insemination.

It may be possible to separate the sperm, mechanically, for IVF/AI. If you go with IVF, it may also be possible to test the ova, before or after fertilization, so that only ones without an affected X chromosome are used. (Perhaps allowing you to be sure that girls aren't carriers, as well as that boys aren't affected.)

As far as the procedure you mentioned - 20% effectiveness isn't too bad, if you consider the ratio of sex acts to conceptions in a typical relationship.

Also, the various timing/position things I've heard about, at best, only slightly tip your odds of getting the desired sex. I haven't run across anything (short of selective abortion) that comes close to guaranteeing the birth of a child of the desired sex.

I wouldn't want to rely on old wives' tales, if the odds were 25% that the child would have a deadly disease, and 25% that the child would be a carrier, and pass it on to her children.

If you find out that you need to be sure about this, it may be possible to be certain using in-vitro-fertilization or artificial insemination.

It may be possible to separate the sperm, mechanically, for IVF/AI. If you go with IVF, it may also be possible to test the ova, before or after fertilization, so that only ones without an affected X chromosome are used. (Perhaps allowing you to be sure that girls aren't carriers, as well as that boys aren't affected.)

As far as the procedure you mentioned - 20% effectiveness isn't too bad, if you consider the ratio of sex acts to conceptions in a typical relationship.

Also, the various timing/position things I've heard about, at best, only slightly tip your odds of getting the desired sex. I haven't run across anything (short of selective abortion) that comes close to guaranteeing the birth of a child of the desired sex.

I wouldn't want to rely on old wives' tales, if the odds were 25% that the child would have a deadly disease, and 25% that the child would be a carrier, and pass it on to her children.

If it turns out I'm really a carrier, then of course I will have to turn to medecine to conceive a healthy child.
But the solution they provide, according to my doctor, is to conceive naturally, diagnose the baby at 10 / 15 weeks of pregnancy, and only carry on the pregnancy if the baby is healthy.

The selective artificial insemination is only proposed to women who had a number of bad diagnosis, or if they can't conceive naturally after a few months (um, years...) because of the stress - the reason to this is officially that there are not many doctors doing this procedure, and many women wanting/needing it, so it's better if it can be done naturally as it shortens the waiting list for those really needing it.... Of course the doctors explaining that are not the ones who have to suffer from the loss of a child or a future child : even knowing beforehand that there might be risks, even early in the pregnancy, it's a terrible pain that they don't seem to realize. Well my doctor (genetic counsellor) didn't seem to realize it anyway :(
(sorry I had to rant a bit, I'm still angry because a lot of things were not done the way they should have been at my hospital)

But the solution they provide, according to my doctor, is to conceive naturally, diagnose the baby at 10 / 15 weeks of pregnancy, and only carry on the pregnancy if the baby is healthy.


I don't want to turn this into an abortion debate. But, they would have you go ahead and conceive a child, you get excited about being pregnant and the chance of a child, if you find out it's not quite perfect then you can get rid of it and try again. Which would be better for your mental health? Destroying the coming child, letting it die naturally from a disease, or not conceiving at all (maybe adopting). I saw my baby's heart beating at 10 weeks (7 with Benjamin) and saw it's little feet and toes. I was feeling my baby move at 14 weeks. It's not just something you could see on a sonogram and then have a doctor tell you to abort. Not if you are a person who really wants a baby.

Snow White : I know, and I totally agree with you. I'm going to see another doctor if I find out I'm a carrier (I won't know for sure until next march) because that's definetely not the way I would like to go. Losing my son was hard enough, I don't want to have to go there with another pregnancy :(

Second opinions on something like this is probably always a good idea. I hope you are able to have a happy and healthy pregnancy. Children are such a joy (lots of work, but still a joy).

It's not just something you could see on a sonogram and then have a doctor tell you to abort. Not if you are a person who really wants a baby.
Well, that would certainly be horrifically hurtful to a good friend of mine who desperately wanted her baby.

If you didn't want to start an abortion debate, you just shouldn't have gone there.

I thought SnowWhite was just saying that it would be a very very hard experience to go through.

LadyGrey - All my good thoughts are coming your way. :flowers: