Some of you that have been around for a while may remember this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=23831) written after my visit to the GM stylist I've seen for the past four years. I wasn't pleased with the way I was handled that time, but decided to give it another try as it could have been just a bad day.

Quoting the journal text in full as it's in a private journal and not all have access to it:

Back from the stylist. Evened up ends and a dusting - hair wasn't in too bad shape even though I hadn't been there for six months - probably due to a thorough S&D a little while ago.

Don't really know how to explain this is words - but even the GM trained stylist I'm seeing right now is starting to give me the creeps when it comes to handling my hair. Let's see if I can put some hard facts behind the feeling...


The sinks used to wash my hair are starting to get too small (and she doesn't have the larger/deeper ones used at the larger GM salons) - I get tangles at the very ends from it lying against the back wall of the sink.
She's probably better at detangling than other stylists, but still a lot rougher than I am myself. I don't like the fact that she has many hairs in a widetoothed comb when she's finished detangling my wet hair after washing - I rarely have more than one or two myself and I use a comb with much finer teeth. I notice I sit at the edge of the chair when she's doing this and I can feel the pull at my scalp - unnerving and not a sensation I like as I have a sensitive scalp already to begin with.
I don't like that she insists on drying my hair with a blowdryer after finished cutting. It wasn't too bad when hair was shorter but at the length I am now it's unnerving to see and feel hair fly around my head whipped around by the stream of warm air. I always end up with tangles that she has to take out after the hair is dry. I also don't like the fact that the blowdryer is warm and I can feel my hair and scalp heating up after a while.
The cut she does is good but actually looks and feels quite simple. Hair divided into equal halves. Each half taken down in three separate, vertical sections that are combed together and the very ends snipped off. "Bang" area combed forward across the face and the very ends snipped off. It's not really rocket science and from studying Feye's method actually seems quite similar to what she's doing.
I find it more than a bit unsettling that I apparently know more about hair structure and general hair care than she does... Trying to sound not too conceited - but I think I could actually teach her a thing or two about ingredients, hair structure and why hair behaves like it does. This doesn't feel right - why should I put my hair in the hands of someone where I know that I know more than she does.
I don't like the continuous reference she makes to that the hemline still looks full enough so that she doesn't need to take off more than a little just to even it up. It's unsettling - this is my hair we're speaking of and I would like to decide that myself - thank you very much.
Also remembering one incident a couple of visits ago when she demonstrated one updo on my hair - she twisted it so tightly that hairs were pulling at the scalp and it almost hurt. No wonder people develop traction alopecia if that's how it's usually done... It was much tighter than any of my regular daily updos that stay in fine throughout the course of a day.


I guess you can conclude by the above tirade that I don't like my hair handled by others (don't know when and where that developed - it hasn't been like that before) and that I'm not too satisfied with her performance right now - full stop. The above things are observations I've done over a longer period of time - not something that just occured today.

Seriously thinking about trying my hand and self-trimming - my hair is definitely long enough for that now. I can do my own washing and detangling the way I like it and then trim either wet or dry according to Feye's instructions.

Also seriously thinking about getting my GM products through Enchantress or Madora when I need to renew my supply. More expensive with shipping - but if I don't go to her for trims I don't see how I with good conscience could just swing by for more shampoo or conditioner...

Actually I'm quite sad to feel this way as I've spent almost four years as her customer but I don't like this any longer. I would be willing to pay the price she's asking and more to that if I felt it was the right thing to do for my hair, but I don't get that feeling any longer. :sad

Well, did my last, and final, visit yesterday. My thoughts and reflections are again quoted below as it's in a private journal:

Well, I went for a scheduled trim yesterday. As some may remember I had a few things nagging me after my last visit (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=369350&postcount=333). Same story again despite trying to guide her towards being more gentle. Also discovered that she's wearing a full set of rings - with stones nonetheless - on both hands. Never reflected on that before, but definitely noticed yesterday when I felt them tug at the hair.

Hair today is too slippery - like last time. I have a hard time getting it to stay in a simple, low bun. Suspect she used a big much of the Biosilk - that she doesn't even recognize as a silicone serum... Not that I'm opposed to cones - they work well for my hair, but the more I see and reflect upon things, the more I realize I have far more knowledge than her about ingredients, structure, care and all other aspects of long hair.

'Nuff said. I'm taking things into my own hands from now on with respect to trims and care. I pay too much for something I don't even appreciate any longer. I have another appointment booked for late November that I'll cancel. Ties are severed and I'll either get my GM stuff from the US or switch over to Nexxus again that I can get locally.

Toying with the idea of going purely to S&D and letting the natural hemline of the hair take over entirely instead of keeping it blunt like I've done so far. Already quite established (but wavering from time to time) about letting my hair go back to its natural color. The differenct between roots and length can be seen but isn't overly noticeable to anyone but myself - at least for the time being.

My hair is too important to me to get this uneasy, sinking feeling in my stomach after a visit to a supposed longhair friendly hairdresser. I may be a tad overprotective of the hair - really don't think so as I don't obsess as much over other things. Wearing it loose or braided isn't a problem as I know how I can handle that in a way that won't damage it. Tucking it in under a baseball cap when out and playing golf isn't a problem as I can do it quick but gentle if needed. But this treatment hits home and it's probably because I can't control it.

The real issue is that I know what I'm doing with my hair at all times, I can feel it, see it and gauge it. I have to live with it every day, treat it every day and not every third month. I also trust C as I know he is as gentle with it as I am myself. He usually doesn't do much with it, but if it's down he automatically moves it away before leaning against me, or gently strokes it back without pulling to help me get it out of the way. He's even gentle when braiding (not often, even though it has happened) or helping get a nasty tangle out. I trust him, whereas I don't trust her any longer.

I feel sad that it had to come to this and as strange as it sounds a bit of a loss too. She's been wonderful for the past four years, but I have the nagging feeling that she isn't capable of handling hair that is growing beyond what is 'normal long lengths' - at least not to the standards that I expect from a longhair specialist.

Fia, I was just about to PM you about your journal :)
Sorry to hear that you aren't happy with your hairdresser, but very glad to hear that you decided to stop going to her. You (and your hair) deserve a much better and more gentle treatment. I can't believe that she wears rings with stones when she handles hair! Not very considerate or smart.

Are you going to do self-trims á la Feye, or are you going to trust C with a pair of scissors? I'm sure that either way will work great for you. C sees you every day and cares about your hair, I'm sure that he'll do a much better job with it, that a hairdresser that just wants to make money out of your hair and sees it four times a year. If C doesn't dare to cut your hair, just let me know and I'll take my scissors and come right over and help you :)

You made the right choice. You need to think about what feels best for you and your hair. I'm sure that you'll find another solution you'll be even happier with.
Good luck!

I'm sorry you're losing your stylist Fia! It sounds like it's definately for the best though! :grouphug:

:shake:

I'm so sorry to hear you had to leave your stylist. It's nice to be pampered at a GM salon but once you realize... "hey, they're not being as gentle as they could/ should be..." or that you actually know MORE about hair than they do, what is the point?

I've been in that uncomfortable situation before... plenty of times. Where they're confidently tugging and snapping hairs and you're left wondering what to do, getting hot and nervous, wanting to run. :uhh: I've used Feye's trimming method many times with success. I think you'll like it too.

Well anyways, I hope all works out the best for you and your hair. :flower:

I think you made the right decision. :flower: I'm sure your hair will thank you for it. :)

I haven't been to a salon in over a year due to the fact that they got a lil scissor happy. I use Feye's method now and my hair has never looked better. A benefit of this method is that I don't have to keep putting off the cut out of fear that my hair will be ruined. Just know that it's best that you cut way less than youn intend at first and then you can always go back otherwise you can cut off more than you mean to. Also ask someone you really, really trust to look at your hair when you're done to see if everythings even and looks good. If they see something and you have trouble getting to it have them trim it. This step has prooved invaluable to me and has saved me many inches of hair. I also do s&d but I had to be comfortable with Feyes method first before attempting it. Now I do s&d regularly and then take the very tips of my hair and trim it just enough to even the hem line and no more. I only do the hem line one every three months at most. The last time I did this I was able to trim less than a 1/4 inch off of my hair. I was quite proud of this fact because it took me nine months to become this skilled.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us Fia. I am still trying to break the habit of having to get a professional trim every couple of months. It is so drummed into us that we have to do this in order to have healthy hair!! It has been 4 months since my last trim (when I decided to get serious about growing) and I really don't think I need one but I booked an appointment for next month anyway! I to and froed about cancelling it and have since decided to keep the appointment just to have my fringe tidied up, as I can't get good results trimming that myself. I'm pleased to have it reinforced that saying goodbye to your hairdresser can definitely be for the best! Good luck with your self-trims :)

I think you've made the right decision there, Fia. It's an unholy amount of money to pay someone who's doing what you feel is a poor job and who you feel isn't qualified to handle your hair properly. ESPECIALLY in light of the fact that you can do this yourself better than what you were getting for your money. I'd be sick to have all those doubts assail me after I'd spent a large sum of money to have a trim/conditioning treatment.

You'll do fine self-trimming (or hubby-trimming), and then you can spend your newly-saved-haircut-money on....well, probably Ficcares!!! ;)

i remember you saying that you were unhappy with the stylist you had seen before. its cool that you gave it another try. i sometimes give up on something just because i was hormonal that day or something.
anyways now you know for sure. good luck with your future self propelled haircare.

My sympathy. I broke with my hairstylist of 5 years this year, and there's a certain amount of trauma related to it. She didn't do anything wrong, really; I just couldn't listen to her world view anymore. Politically and spiritually we just were not in sync at all, and apparently she felt a need to bring me into the light. So now I'm past 2 visits with a new stylist, and I guess I got lucky because I think she's going to work out. I don't really want to trim my own hair or do S&D. And my husband? He's so clumsy with fine work that he'd probably try to bite it off it I asked him for a trim.

Anyway, best wishes and good luck with your new hair care plan.

Or you can have your own personal "hair slave". My hubby has learned exactly how to handle my hair. Whenever I need S&D or Feye's Trim or even henna he helps. That way I don't have to risk!!!! Good Luck :inlove:

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience, but I have to say I struggled with the same decision myself. I'd been seeing the same woman for years, and though I do think she's a skilled stylist in terms of cuts, I finally realized that she wasn't doing what I wanted, that she was much too rough, and she never really listened. All in all, too much stress and unhappiness about the nature of my visits, so I ended it.

I waited nearly a year after my last salon trim to attempt my first self trim, and even then, I basically did a micro trim. I'm still a bit amazed at how empowering it was. (I can do this myself!)

You may miss the hair stylist as a person, but you are very correct to not go back again when you are uncomfortable being there and don't like the way she handles your hair. My stylist was a wonderful person, but when I started to grow my hair long, I only went back to her one time. I thought I'd like a bit of layer around my face. She did exactly what I wanted, but I decided I did not want any more.Also she was rougher than I am, and scrubbed my head and dried my hair too hard. So now it just grows. I have not trimmed it at all in two years I guess.
But I miss the stylist as she was a nice person. So I think of her, and say a prayer for her that her life is good and her kids are well.
But I handle my own hair.

I feel sad that it had to come to this and as strange as it sounds a bit of a loss too. She's been wonderful for the past four years, but I have the nagging feeling that she isn't capable of handling hair that is growing beyond what is 'normal long lengths' - at least not to the standards that I expect from a longhair specialist.I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, Fia. It seems so strange that a GM stylist wouldn't know how to handle long hair. Remember seeing the pictures online from one of the GM salons? There were women with tailbone length hair and longer.

I suppose it's down to the individual salons and how well they train their staff, huh? Have you ever considered going to another GM salon? It sounds like you have a handle on what you're going to do from hereon but it may be an alternative solution if/when you feel the need to go have a salon treatment.