My son has turned to being picky. Do I just need to wait this out? He'll eat bananas, applesauce, different kinds of bread, peanut butter sandwhiches, crackers, cheerios, french fries, raw carrots sometimes, lima beans (if we don't have them too often), cheese sometimes and chicken sometimes. That's about it. I keep trying new things but he'll say, "No like it," often before he'll even try it. Lots of times supper ends with him eating a PB sandwhich because he won't eat whatever it is we are having. Do I just keep trying? He used to eat everything.

I'm not a parent (yet :wink: ) but I know that when I was little, if I didn't like what my mom was serving, it was too bad! :lol: I would suggest that you don't give him too many options, because that will just encourage him to be fussy. Maybe give him two choices, like "do you want an apple or a banana?" so that way he feels like he has some control over the situation, but he isn't allowed to choose any food he wants under the sun. If you make him a peanut butter sandwich everytime he wants one, or cater to his whims too much, he probably will be eating only pb and js soon :lol: Kids! :lol:

Good luck!

He may just be going through a "not hungry" phase in his growth.

Maybe just offer healthy meals, but if he doesn't feel like eating or he only eats some of the meal, assume he isn't hungry, and let him go play, rather than bugging him to eat or offering alternatives. At some point, his hunger will wake up again.

Or offer him the same meal your having - the family eats the same thing, and it is grown-up food, rather than something different. Kids like to feel grownup, so if he is served from the common dish, it will be special. Easier for you, as well, to prepare only one type of meal.

I would suggest maybe giving him the foods he chooses to eat if they are healthy and only if they are healthy. As we are all different, we also have different needs and dislikes. What one of my children will eat, the other scoffs at. I have taught them to listen to their bodies and if they dislike a food, choose another, but only if it's healthy and within the offered foods available.We all need different quantities and types of food depending on our make up. I have learned that forcing a child to eat something he doesn't like is a sure way to start them on their way to an eating disorder. Children are made with a built-in food monitor specific to their own needs so as long as it's healthy food, let em at it.

PattyE

I agree with Curly's suggestion about giving limited choices (this or that - not a full range of choices).

My other suggestion comes from a story I heard from Foster Cline and Jim Fay at Love and Logic (http://www.loveandlogic.com/index.html) . I've heard a number of audiotapes that they have produced.

I can't remember exactly how the story/suggestion goes, but it is kind of like this. One way is to have "kids food" and "adult food". Let the kids know that your food is your food. At first, the kid won't want to eat that "yucky looking food." Then eventually, they'll get curious about it and will ask to taste it (of course you and your hubby ooh and aaah over how good it is while you are eating it). When they ask for some, you let them taste it.

They (L&L) also have some great suggestions on how to handle some of the typical early childhood battles: hurrying up and eating, getting dressed to go to school, etc.

I loooooove Love and Logic materials!

I also wanted to say that it will probably be hard for you to not make him something special whenever he won't eat, but his not eating what you serve is his little way of getting you to feed him what he wants. Think of it, if he really likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and he knows that if he won't eat his other food you'll make him one, why should he even bother with eating what you serve? It's like he's found a secret way to be able to eat what he wants all the time! :lol: I think that kids go through phases of wanting to eat one specific item all the time, and if you let them, they'll never eat anything else. So anyways, good luck again and I hope everything works out :)

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I have always only cooked one balanced dinner for the entire family. When the kids have decided not to eat the family meal, they have a choice of PB&J sandwich or cheese sandwich. I refuse to cook them a separate meal. Usually they make do with the parts of the dinner that they like to eat. I take into mind their preferences, so if they won't eat one part of the meal, usually they will like a different part. Then again, I generally make a meal involving one main course, a carb side, and usually 2 vegetables.

No child that young is going to choose to starve. I've heard of kids who only eat white food for a while or choose to only eat fruit for awhile. It's usually just a phase.

BTW, both of my kids had a drastic weight redistribution while they were 2. The pediatrician says that it's normal to go from being round to being a beanpole from ages 2-6.

This is completely normal for 2 year old children. If a big deal is made about it, it gives him control. Think about it....this is the one area children have control over.

What works well, coming from the mother of 2 VERY picky eaters--past and present--is make the dinner whatever it may be. Always have on the table a couple of things he will eat, i.e. grapes and french bread along with the main meal. Put a bit of the main meal on his plate. Ask him to take a "No thank you bite" (which can be a mouse size taste.) All the goal is is to expand his palate ever so slightly If he refuses, that's ok. As the years go on, he will watch you both and imitate you. I swear my oldest would never eat anything, but once he got into school, his tastes changed and he likes many things now. My oldest son (14) is still picky, but in a good way. He likes healthy foods, not junk. I know it seems to you that your son does not like much, but it is actually a nice assortment of a variety of foods. Both my boys have had a bowl of cereal before bed every night (almost) from age 2 or 3 til age 8. Healthy cereal only, of course. This gives (and gave) them an extra bit of nutrition and I did not stress about their dinner. For instance, tonight my youngest did not want turkey burgers (he usually will have 1/2 of one) so he ate baby carrots (a lot of them) and watermelon.:bluesmile It was fine. I did not stress. He just polished off a bowl of Oat Bran cereal with soy milk and skim milk mixed together a short time ago. Both children also take a multi vitamin. My oldest takes some other supplements as well. Neither will eat eggs, so I get them into them via pancakes, french toast, etc.

Sometimes it seems you can be down to counting foods on one hand (I have been there) then a few weeks later, they have added more into the rotation.

Try writing down everything your son does eat and enjoy and rotate items around if possible. Also, try yogurt, quick breads, etc. I used to grate (very finely) carrots on top of my youngest' s grilled cheese sandwich when he was around 2. That worked for a year:lol:.

It will all work itself out.:smile:

At 2, logic won't get you anywhere. It won't even enter into it.

One thing that I did that helped a lot was to make sure that he got some exercise before dinner - so he got rid of his energy and was ready to sit calmly and besides that he was hungry.

Mine's almost 10 and it has only been in the last couple of years that he's gotten better about it. About 3 years ago, I instituted the following rule: If you don't want dinner, I"ll be happy to warm up whatever LEFTOVERS you can find in the fridge. And that's how he learned to eat a lot of stuff.

It is remarkable how well our children train us, isn't it!

I give mine their dinner if they don't eat it which she hardly ever does I put it in the fridge for the next meal or when she says that she is hungry. She doesn't get anything else until she has eatin that meal. Good luck.

I give mine their dinner if they don't eat it which she hardly ever does I put it in the fridge for the next meal or when she says that she is hungry. She doesn't get anything else until she has eatin that meal. Good luck.

That's what my parents did as well!

I think it worked pretty well for us - if we genuinely weren't hungry, they wouldn't gripe about wasted food. The only stress came for the one or two meals that I genuinely hated (dahl and rice, eggplant curry).

You've had some good advice here, I think. All I can add is this: my mother fretted constantly about whether I was eating when I was a child. She took me to doctors every week to ask why I wasn't eating. She constantly begged and pleaded with me to eat more. My only memory of her mother, my grandmother, is of her trying to trick me into eating more. (In fairness to my mother, I should say that she lost her first child to malnutrition, during the war. She was always too anxious about my and my older brothers' well-being.)

I had to deal with some food issues when I got older.

Kids don't starve themselves. If he doesn't feel like eating, don't turn it into a game or a drama. Just say, "fine, you'll eat when you're hungry." And I think the advice to offer 2 and no more choices is very wise. It combines control (which is what 2 year olds are stretching their wings into) with boundaries (which they need).

Iy options, because that will just encourage him to be fussy. Maybe give him two choices, like "do you want an apple or a banana?" so that way he feels like he has some control over the situation, but he isn't allowed to choose any food he wants under the sun.

Either/or choices are a very good idea.

I spent ten years working in group homes for developmentally disabled adults. Not quite the same as small children, but there are some similarities.

"What do you want" questions can be overwhelming. Until you have a certain level of mental development, you can't narrow down which of the many things you know of are appropriate. Even if the person likes healthy things, they may always choose the same thing, because they can't think of options on the spot, or they may get frustrated, and tantrum, because it is overwhelming to have to think through so many things.

So, for lunch, a question like "apple or orange" or "chicken or ham on your sandwich" can give freedom to choose, while leading to appropriate and available choices. "What do you want" can lead to problems, if you don't have what they think of ("we're out of peanut butter...") or if it isn't appropriate (ice cream for supper.)

Guided choices work in other ways, as well. There was one resident who would always get upset when it was time to go to bed. Turned out, by bedtime, he was too tired to face the prospect of changing, toothbrushing, etc. Asking, right after dinner, if he'd like to change into his pj's now, so he could lounge around in them for a while, solved the problem. He'd get into his pj's, and through his hygene routine, while wide awake. He'd be happy watching tv or playing games for an hour. Just before bedtime, we'd pop in a Lawrence Welk tape. When they sang the "goodnight" song, we'd casually suggest that that might be a good idea. He could go right to bed.

Or offer him the same meal your having - the family eats the same thing, and it is grown-up food, rather than something different. Kids like to feel grownup, so if he is served from the common dish, it will be special. Easier for you, as well, to prepare only one type of meal.

This is what we usually do...combing it with things I know he will eat (like someone else mentioned) like zucchini bread, raw carrots, etc.

Thank you all for your advice. I don't want meal time to become a battle, but I also don't want him always getting his way. I'll remember the choices thing, healthy snack before bed (sometimes we do this and sometimes we don't have a snack at all).

I don't have a problem with my 19 month old dd, yet. But for my 5 year old she eats what we eat or she doesn't get any dessert. If she doesn't eat and gets hungry later she gets PLAIN cereal such as Cheerio's or Chex. Also, if I know the dinner turns out yucky which happens often with my cooking I'll make her something simple to have instead.

If it helps, consider that a child being fussy about food is a modern luxury.

100 or 200 years ago, people, of any age, ate what was available locally at any given time of year. For months in the winter, that might be flour, dried beans, cornmeal, and a bit of salt pork (mostly fat) and molassas.

Yet not child ever starved because he was too fussy to eat, even with no food choices at all.

As long as you make wholesome food available, your 2 year old won't starve. With the variety of modern foods available, he'll thrive. If he misses a meal (or two) because he's not in the mood to eat what you've made, he'll be fine.

A bit hungrier for the next meal, and he'll eat what you've made then.

I have a two year old who can be picky :D

We are very lucky that she loves veggies, and will eat them before she will eat anything else. We have problems getting her to eat fruit.

I've had some luck getting her to eat new things. Here is what I do:

I sit everyone down at the table and put the desired item (ie--strawberries) on my plate and my husband's plate. We both eat one and talk about how good it is. I then offer it to amber up to three times during that meal (never put it on her plate.) I do this a few times. She usually wants some after a day or two. If she doesn't like it at first, I let it go for a few days, then try again. Sometimes she likes things after she has had them a few times.

I never ask her what she wants for lunch--I only ask her if she wants to have lunch. Do you want lunch? Do you want some green beans? I will let her be picky with new foods, but not with established foods. I know she eats pasta, carrots, green beans, peas, etc. If she chooses not to eat them at the meal, that means she doesn't want any meal and I take her from the table and clean her up.

good luck with B!

cheryl

I sit everyone down at the table and put the desired item (ie--strawberries) on my plate and my husband's plate. We both eat one and talk about how good it is. I then offer it to amber up to three times during that meal (never put it on her plate.) I do this a few times. She usually wants some after a day or two. If she doesn't like it at first, I let it go for a few days, then try again. Sometimes she likes things after she has had them a few times.

I never ask her what she wants for lunch--I only ask her if she wants to have lunch. Do you want lunch? Do you want some green beans? I will let her be picky with new foods, but not with established foods. I know she eats pasta, carrots, green beans, peas, etc. If she chooses not to eat them at the meal, that means she doesn't want any meal and I take her from the table and clean her up.
That is a fantastic approach. I also agree with Ursula -- eventually they will eat, unless you are talking about a child that is deathly ill (e.g., lethargic from meningitis).

I think the big issue is to keep mealtimes from becoming power struggle times. Once the eating becomes the focus of extended discussion, then the eating (or not eating) becomes a very big symbol of a lot of other things. Better -- I think -- to keep a hawklike gaze on it, but don't let that intensity show. As long as it isn't a big deal, natural forces will take over. *smile

Disclaimer: I have no children of my own, although I've taken care of many, both sick and well. (Just thought you should know that parenting itself is still rather theoretical for me!)

There's an excellent book by Ellyn Satter called How To Get Your Kids To Eat (But Not Too Much).

Briefly, when what small children eat becomes a focus for pressure, coaxing, anxiety or praise, this puts the child at higher risk for eating disorders as an adult. Satter's premise is that the parent's job is to offer a variety of healthy foods and the child's job is to determine what and how much of those foods to eat.

Studies done from the 1940's on repeatedly confirm that given a variety of nutritious choices, toddlers will freely choose a diet that meets their nutritional needs -- not from day to day or even necessarily from week to week, but averaged out over time.

I disagree with Satter that it's the parent's job to determine when food should be served. I mean, I'm not going to drop everything to short-order whatever my son wants, but we're a house of grazers and I trust him to know when he's hungry. So, even if it's 20 minutes before dinner, if he says he's hungry, I'll offer him something that doesn't involve a lot of prep. What's the worst that could happen? He's gonna spoil his dinner with nutritious food? :grin:

There is also evidence strongly suggesting that it's not healthy to make one food conditional on another -- dessert only if dinner is eaten. This places a lot of focus on the dessert and makes the dinner foods only a vehicle to get to a goal. We don't serve dessert routinely, although we eat some kind of sweet pretty much daily, and a reasonable serving of dessert is not conditional on how much of dinner was eaten. Some nutritionists recommend putting the serving of dessert right on the dinner plate with the other foods. Then the child can choose what order to eat things in.

If Ds doesn't feel like eating what's served for dinner, he can get something that requires no prep or supervision (yogurt, fruit) right then, or he can wait till one of us is done eating and we'll get him bread and butter or reheat leftovers for him. I would hate to be given the choice of "choke down this food you don't like or go hungry", so why would I give him that choice? We're careful to plan for leftovers anyway, and if I fixed it somebody in the family likes it and will eat it, so there isn't a problem with food wastage.

It's very, very common for toddlers to go through stages where they eat practically nothing. Is your toddler still nursing? That's a reassuring cushion if you're worried about his food intake. But even if not, toddler stomachs are really small. I remember reading that something like 2 tablespoons of food per day is adequate for a toddler. And toddlers may reject a food until it's been offered to them, without pressure, as many as 100 times! :bigeyes: I think this is evolutionary -- it wouldn't have served our ancestors well to go around eating things that weren't familiar, so our young are wary about those things. Anyway, little ones want to copy adults, so I agree with Euphrasyne: if you eat and enjoy a variety of foods, and don't make a power struggle over eating, kids will naturally want to try those same things as soon as they feel familiar enough to be nonthreatening.

i just put it infront of her anyway. we dont make a fuss over what she eats. we find that mixing for example brocolli with mash and telling her its alien poo works wonders. but seriousely just put it there and make no fuss. hell get curiouse and try stuff when he is ready.

I was a very fussy eater when I was a kid...and I survived ;) I did like several types of vegetables though..but my poor mom fretted herself half to death. I would not eat brussel sprouts at all (now I will if they have cheese sauce on them!) I still will not eat beets...not a chance *shudder*.

This too, shall pass (I don't have kids, but my DOG is a fussy eater!)

Ah, picky eaters... :no: I babysit two boys who, to my agony, will only eat a number of things, veggies and most fruits not included. Come to think of it, I was a tad picky when I was young and probably would have been even more so if it wasn't for my mother's parenting. Not eating something wasn't an option if it was on your plate. She made sure I ate a variety of foods. 'Sounds pretty cruel, but it helped in my situation. Not many parents have the 'you're-not-leaving-the-table-until-you-finish-your-food' rule. I would probably bet that many parents today would even call it cruel. (Not to mention, a parent would have to have nerves of steel to get through those episodes :D) A trick that worked for me once while babysitting a cousin was leaving the food next to her and going to another part of the room. She didn't want the peach in the first place, but in a few minutes, it was gone! One of a parent's duties is to instill in their child what is good for them (my opinion, no biting me!) Children aren't born with this knowlege therefore what they learn from their parents will definetely have a large impact on their adult life. I hope you and your son can work things out!!

Spunkymonki, I'm not gonna bite :D but I have to point out that it's been shown over and over again that if you present a varied diet of many nutritious foods to a child, without pressure, they *do* know what's good for them. Their bodies know exactly what they need, and they'll eat exactly as much as they need and select exactly the foods they need to create nutritional balance.

Of course, this only applies if what's offered is indeed a varied and nutritious diet. Try as they might, a child can't select a balance of nutrition from Trix for breakfast, bologna on white bread for lunch and McDonald's for dinner. You get me?