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Heaven_Draven
July 26th, 2005, 06:00 AM
Given 2 of the topics I've just read through, (the haircutting video site and the Lol ones - I can't find the video site thread, or I'd have put this there.) I went searching for "forced haircuts".

I found one site that *horrified* me. I hope I'm Ok to post these quotes given that they're publicly available.

"Just hope you don't wake up to what I did two weeks ago. I had thick, healthy sholder length hair, basically one length (hence my email address....). My boyfriend came home from his monthly night out with the guys (which I fully supported!). Unfortunately, this time, they were celebrating the promotion of one of the guys and my guy got rather drunk. His story is when he come home, he saw me and thought I would look good with a style like the waitress at the restaurant had. So he took it upon himself to snip away. I am a heavy sleeper and had no clue. as soon as I woke up, I could feel the difference. Well, thank goodness for salons that are open on Sunday and they saved what they could. I currently have two inches on top with a buzzed neck and around the ears. And I hate it!!!

My guy keeps saying he is sorry, and i know he is, but he ain't getting any until the hair on my neck is at least three inches long!"

And this next one is even worse:

"Help!!!!!!! anyone
I have an 11 year old daughter and she has waist length black hair i have talked to her about cutting it to a short bob or something short but she would not agree should i just force her or how can i explain. Would love a reply...........
Suzy!

As your daughter is only 11, I feel that you should still have the say in how your daughter wears her hair. Since she is not willing to let you cut it short, you should take her and allow her to think that you are just having her hair trimmed, make sure that the stylist understands that after her hair is washed and sectioned off, to just start cutting it at her neck line...once the haircut is started, there will be no turning back.

It may be somewhat traumatic for her at first, but you know it will look good, and she will get used to the new length.

I live in the Atlanta area, if you happen to also, I would be glad to cut her hair for you."

The only words I can come up with are "OMG!". Thankfully a couple of other posters to the site told Ms "I want to force my daughter to have her haircut" what they thought of the idea, but I still find it (and that response) abhorrent.

What does everyone else think?

purplebubba
July 26th, 2005, 06:07 AM
Forced haircutting is a form of rape. Plain and simple.

Virginia Dawn
July 26th, 2005, 06:08 AM
ugghhhh. I am ill at the thought. That is so cruel and totally does nothing for trust!!!

Meg_Evenstar
July 26th, 2005, 06:09 AM
First of all if my boyfriend ever did that to me hell would freeze over before he became my husband. There are somethings I don't forgive. That is one of them.

Second, I was nine years old when my aunt did that very thing to me. I was taken to the ''beauty shop'' to have my hair trimmed. It was cut in a ''stylish'' cut popular in 1963. I never forgave her for that and I never had short hair again. What I learned is that I could not trust her. Our relationship was never the same. I also had waist length black hair. She had my picture taken that afternoon with my sister. I was crying and it showed in the picture. I cried for days on end over it. :rolleyes:

Meg

Earth Mother
July 26th, 2005, 06:09 AM
That really is horrific. And it really is nothing but the result of the desire to control. Why else would somebody be so fixated on something that doesn't even affect them?

Snowymoon
July 26th, 2005, 06:18 AM
I am strongly opposed to forced hair cuts and to deceiving children and lying to them--saying you are doing one thing and then, in fact, you do another. I think that is just wrong, and I agree with what PB said.

Dahabibi
July 26th, 2005, 06:20 AM
The boyfriend in the first post...wow. If that had been my (hypothetical) boyfriend... not only wouldn't he be getting any... he would have to run REALLY fast because I would HURT him. And do exactly the same to him. Or he'd be out of my life. Something like that is UNFORGIVABLE, drunk or not.
And he'd probably have to say goodbye to some of his favourite bodyparts, too.

In the second quote... wow. That girl is 11. She has the right to decide what she looks like herself! She's at the threshold of puberty, already a time of raging hormones and insecurity.. why make it worse by forcing her into a look she doesn't want? Let her decide! She's old enough! If she doesn't know how to care for her hair properly, try and teach her how to!

I could never imagine my mother forcing me into something like that. When I was 4 or 5, I had shoulder length hair but I wanted to look like a boy so my mom cut my hair really short.
Because *I* wanted too. At some point in my life (about 8 or 9, I think) I even had some sort of 'faux hawk', again, my decision. My mom was like, well, you wanted this for your self, if you don't like it, well, it's your own fault. Deal with the consequenses. Also, I've always been used to picking out my own clothes, and maybe I looked horrible as a child... but at least I've learned to create my own style and not give into trends and fads...

Pegasus Marsters
July 26th, 2005, 06:24 AM
If that guy was my boyfriend he could say goodbye to something else altogether. Grrr!

As for that poor girl who doesn't want her hair cut, it's so wrong to lie to kids about stuff like that. wrong wrong wrong. An example (not related to hair) is when i had my first wobbley tooth as a kid.. my mum told me she was just going to 'take a look at it' and she yanked it out. As a result i refused to let her near my teeth ever again. Seems like a small thing, but it's a trust issue

Ursula
July 26th, 2005, 06:27 AM
Rape is far to strong a word. Not that cutting someone's hair against their will isn't bad, but it is at the most assault/battery. Calling it "rape" belittles what rape actually is.

As far as the first situation goes, I'd dump the guy. I like brains, and that fellow obviously doesn't have any.

The second situation is tricker - can the child care for her own hair as is? Is she caring for it properly? I figure parents get to choose a kids hairstyle, at least until the kid is old enough and responsible enough to take care of their own hair. But being honest that the parent gets to choose the haircut until a certain age is better than lying to or tricking the child.

Merlin
July 26th, 2005, 06:34 AM
I agree with the sentiments others have expressed, though I suspect a lot of rape victims might disagree with equating their experience with a forced haircut.

However worth bearing in mind of course that these may have more to do with sharing a fantasy rather than actual things that people have done or would think of doing IRL; because somebody likes to fantasise about something does not mean they want to do it for real. Just because 'Suzy' is writing this 'story' does not even mean she has a daughter, or would force a cut on her, anymore than the writers of the 'Black Lace' books really want to be carried off by domineering men.

Oh, and remember the more people here recount their own horror stories and are horrifed by the idea - the more attractive you make this board for trolls to visit. Fear attracts those who like to dominate too.

Speedbump
July 26th, 2005, 06:39 AM
I looked up "forced haircuts" too after reading this thread and I'm feeling ill right now. There is actually a group called "The Haircut Reserves" dedicated to harassing long-haired men into cutting. They *claim* that they do not advocate forced cuts but I don't believe them. There are even worse thing than them out there. FAR worse. :scared:

What in the hell is wrong with people, anyway? Severe, severe control issues. I'm never googling that again. :puke:

Speedy, who will wear an updo for insecurity reasons as well as the heat today...

PS: I agree with Ursula and AndiS. Rape and a forced cut are not the same thing, although both are abusive.

purplebubba
July 26th, 2005, 06:46 AM
Definitions of rape:

* noun: the crime of forcing a woman to submit to sexual intercourse against her will
* noun: the act of despoiling a country in warfare
* noun: Eurasian plant cultivated for its seed and as a forage crop
* verb: force (someone) to have sex against their will

Example: "The woman was raped on her way home at night"

* verb: destroy and strip of its possession

Darian Moone
July 26th, 2005, 06:47 AM
I was under the impression that these were actual stories, not fantasies. Maybe I missed something.

In the first account, I would have given that guy the permanent boot. Can't be trusted.

And while I feel the mom in the 2nd account has a right to have the final say in her 11 year old's hairstyle, it should be done with discussion, not trickery. And if the child is able to care for her hair, why not let her keep it? I wonder if the mom helps to brush and detangle and just doesn't want to be bothered with it.

Lady Godiva
July 26th, 2005, 06:51 AM
Please keep in mind that stories such as this are very easily invented because they are sensational. I do not doubt that these kinds of things happen, as I strongly disliked the short hair I was pushed to have basically against my will when I was a young girl. Still, with the attention that LoL, W4K, and their ilk get in the media, as well as the proliferation of hair cutting fetishes in varying degrees on the internet, this stuff actually attracts the attention of those who like it, so there are those who take advantage of that reality and cater to it by creating it.

In short, don't trust everything that you see in the varying media locations when it comes to hair. :twocents:

Merlin
July 26th, 2005, 07:00 AM
Please keep in mind that stories such as this are very easily invented because they are sensational. I do not doubt that these kinds of things happen, as I strongly disliked the short hair I was pushed to have basically against my will when I was a young girl. Still, with the attention that LoL, W4K, and their ilk get in the media, as well as the proliferation of hair cutting fetishes in varying degrees on the internet, this stuff actually attracts the attention of those who like it, so there are those who take advantage of that reality and cater to it by creating it.

In short, don't trust everything that you see in the varying media locations when it comes to hair. :twocents:

Wise words LG

Nalia
July 26th, 2005, 07:01 AM
Lady Godiva is right.. let's not put too much stock into these stories. We all have our own hair horror stories here.

Lately there have been quite a few threads on the subject of hair and those who would try to take it from us. While I agree that this is a horrible thing, that it does happen and long hairs should be aware of it, I don't think it needs to be googled. We are wallowing in it a little bit, and as Speedy said, it can make us insecure about our long hair.. which is one of the things that makes some people get it cut off.

Yes, these control freak idiot scum are out there.. but.. they are not common. I suspect a lot of these are sensationalist stories. Let's not be afraid to wear our long hair with pride ... why else do we grow it out..... because of these stories.

Carolyn
July 26th, 2005, 07:02 AM
It's simply amazing what a Google search will bring. There are plenty of sites with forced haircutting stories and videos. It turns my stomach. I've followed links on long hair styling sites and ended up on cutting and fetish sites. My guess is that the writers of those stories were just putting their fantasies on line and seeing what it would bring. I know those things so happen in real life sometimes but I doubt the people involved like the mom of the 11 yr old would go on the net and ask for advice. The wording in that post makes me suspect other things. :shocked: Be aware that when you Google and follow links you are going to find all sorts of things.

Lady Clare
July 26th, 2005, 07:07 AM
Does anyone really sleep that heavily without being drunk?? Personally that is something I would notice- when DH comes home with his buddies after a night out, just the noise HE makes is enough to wake even the neighbors!

As for the mother- she is going to be losing her daughter's trust because of that- I wonder if it would be worth it to her?

Snowymoon
July 26th, 2005, 07:09 AM
I was tricked into having my long locks cut very short when I was exactly 11 years old. It did a world of hurt that I will not go into at this moment, but I will again state that I feel it is wrong. Kids are not dumb, IMO, by any means. They learn by adult example. What example is it to lie to them and trick them? I find that very cruel.

Speedy, I also Googled "forced hair cutting" and was appalled. My hair is snugly up in an up-do today. ;)

PB, I again agree with your use of the word and I personally do not find it offensive at all. I also agree with the definition of having something taken from you by force. Though I feel sexual rape and having ones hair cut off forcefully to be very different, I do see similarities in emotional scarring there. Both events are degrading and both take away ones control over ones own body. Sad and wrong. :(

purplebubba
July 26th, 2005, 07:31 AM
PB, I again agree with your use of the word and I personally do not find it offensive at all. I also agree with the definition of having something taken from you by force. Though I feel sexual rape and having ones hair cut off forcefully to be very different, I do see similarities in emotional scarring there. Both events are degrading and both take away ones control over ones own body. Sad and wrong. :(

Thanks Snowy
I'd like to clarify this if I can.
I have no intention of upsetting people. My original comment was "Form of Rape"
The definition I posted shows that it is a form of the word.

Maybe if we think of it in terms of a scale of 1 to 10.
A sexual Rape would be a 10 while a Forced Haircut might only be a 1.

Perhaps Mug is a better word?
I have lived through an attemted mugging. When I was 12 four guys who had to at least be in their late teens if not older attempted to take my bike from me and one hit me. Luckily I yelled and people came out of their house and chased them away.

I do not want to take away from the meaning of Rape. I simply want to make it known that if your fantasy is to strap someone to a chair and shave their head and you do that for real you are committing a crime. And if the person you take it from said no then it's probably going to scar them. It's being violated. There might be degrees of violation but it's violation still.

ellyd_hert
July 26th, 2005, 09:00 AM
Wow those are some stories. It that was my boyfriend.. I don't know even if he was drunk, it's like saying it didn't mean anything and I was drunk.
You do know what you do, and it's no excuse. It's not like it's something you can just replace. That hair takes years to grow to that length! And if you make your kids cut your hair, and they don't want it, you'll seriously change the way they feel about themselves. And I know what I'm talking about :(

Meg_Evenstar
July 26th, 2005, 09:08 AM
I was tricked into having my long locks cut very short when I was exactly 11 years old. It did a world of hurt that I will not go into at this moment, but I will again state that I feel it is wrong. Kids are not dumb, IMO, by any means. They learn by adult example. What example is it to lie to them and trick them? I find that very cruel.

Speedy, I also Googled "forced hair cutting" and was appalled. My hair is snugly up in an up-do today. ;)

PB, I again agree with your use of the word and I personally do not find it offensive at all. I also agree with the definition of having something taken from you by force. Though I feel sexual rape and having ones hair cut off forcefully to be very different, I do see similarities in emotional scarring there. Both events are degrading and both take away ones control over ones own body. Sad and wrong. :(


Snowy, I feel as strongly as you do on the subject of cutting the little girl's hair. I am still upset by what happened to me way back when and I can't look at that awful picture that I was forced to sit for and the smile that was also forced. My sister owns it. If I had it I would burn it. I wanted hair like my grandmother's and my aunt took it away through deception. Yes, I got it back and I was belittled all of my teen years for not being stylish until I finally cut it again like Jaclyn Smith's when I was 22, but when I turned 33 I decided to go back to my dream and I have not once looked back. I will never have short hair again.

Meg

Vicky Veiss
July 26th, 2005, 09:09 AM
Trickery of any kind will come back to haunt any parent or other adult in authority over a child. Probably a thousandfold! The only forgivable use of trickery I can think of is to avert a truly dangerous situation when there is no other way to accomplish it. In such a trivial cause and perpetrated by someone with power over the tricked person, it's despicable. Why on EARTH would any parent think that the length of a kid's hair is worth destroying the trust in the relationship?

My son, who is eleven, recently announced that he wanted to try growing his hair out. It's thick and bushy, and it would need a LOT of length to look good long, I think--it's the kind of hair that needs either plenty of weight on the ends to tame it down or a pretty short trim. So I gritted my teeth a little, smiled and said, "Sure, summer is a good time to try that kind of thing." He was looking pretty shaggy, but that never killed anyone. :)

He was going to stay at his grandparents' place for two weeks right after school got out, so I knew he needed a clear directive from me to avoid getting taken to the barber while he was there. My MIL is not at all big on shaggy children, but she would never go against my specific instructions even though she might complain. I told her he was growing his hair out, and reminded her it was summer and that not many people were going to see him! So although Grandma was dubious about the whole thing and made a number of deprecating remarks, he was still shaggy when we got him back.

One week later, he said, "Mom, can I have a haircut?" I asked him if he was sure he wanted to give up the experiment, since he was just getting into that in-between stage, and he was sure that he was finished with it, so I gave him a cut. There you go--one tidy-looking child, and everyone's happy with no shouting. The path of least resistance is almost always the way to walk, IMO.

I've had roommates, etc., make "jokes" about cutting off my hair while I was sleeping or something similar. :rolleyes: I wonder if anyone who makes remarks like that realizes just how it sounds to the person whose hair is involved. "Gee, I'll burn all your clothes while you're in class! I'll flush your hamster down the john and give your books to Goodwill and use your artwork for toilet paper! Ha, ha, I'm such a wit!" Spare me from wit like that.

Yes, it's a personal assault to cut off someone's hair against their will, and in many ways a sexual one, especially for a woman. Anyone who did that to me would be talking to a police officer.

Vicky

Lady Clare
July 26th, 2005, 09:28 AM
I've had roommates, etc., make "jokes" about cutting off my hair while I was sleeping or something similar. :rolleyes: I wonder if anyone who makes remarks like that realizes just how it sounds to the person whose hair is involved.


Sorry- kinda OT...

That reminded me of when I was in 6th grade- It was me and 7 other kids in the class that day (it was just before christmas, alot didn't show up) and the teacher had left for a minute to get something for us. We were all just sitting around, no work that day, when one of the boys came up behind me with scissors (my hair was mid back) and was this > < close to cutting my hair until I reached behind me, grabbed his arm and twisted it. The teacher came back to me holding the boys' arm behind him- with him in tears (lol) and me ripping a pair of scissors from his hands saying something along the lines of "you try that again and I will give you a real reason to cry" :twisted:

Funny thing is though, I was the shy, quiet mouse of the class- and I never got in trouble b/c the teacher had never, ever seen me get that upset so she knew he must have done something terrible. She herself was a longhair and when she found out what he did he ended up staying after school for three days!

Don't mess with the longhairs! :rockerdud

Circley
July 26th, 2005, 09:56 AM
Regardless if the stories of the drunk boyfriend and the mother with the urge to cut are real or not they resonated deeply with me.

It might sound silly, but if my mother had ever done something like that to me I would never, ever be able to respect or trust her afterwards. In fact, I'm pretty sure something like that would have caused me to become the most obnoxious and annoying child anyone could have. It would be a form of violation I would never have accepted, understood or forgiven and the mere thought of it chills me.

OT: Luckily, my mother has always encouraged long hair. She understands; on the day of her confirmation (probably late fifties in a country area) she was forced to have a perm and got so mad that she cut the whole thing off. The pictures of her are still pretty though, although friends and family were shocked by the radical style.

The boyfriend - it's a difficult question but he probably hadn't stayed in my life long.

Although it may attract trolls and it's one's own responsibility what is found on googled sites, I'm happy to be more informed about hair fetishists and cutters. Before coming here I wouldn't ever have dreamt that something like that could happen. It makes me more consciously aware of my hair and the dangers lurking, be it cutters or cigarettes, hairdressers or vacuums, industrial machines or small children with fast fingers.

CurlyKitten
July 26th, 2005, 10:03 AM
I can't help but think that when we allow ourselves to feel afraid of these people, that we are the losers. If their goal is to control us and make us feel scared and upset, then they've won! So while I definitely find these sites disturbing, and will take all normal precautions to keep myself safe (like I always do), I won't allow some hypothetical fetishists to control my actions and make me live my life in fear. I will continue to enjoy my beautiful hair because I don't want to give them the SATISFACTION of making me afraid.

I hope that others on this site won't give them this satisfaction either :flowers: I can just imagine them reading this thread and all the others where we go on and on expressing our fear of getting our hair cut publically, and getting off on it! :? Please don't allow them to make you live your life in fear.

spidermom
July 26th, 2005, 10:16 AM
It could have been worse. My niece came home, found her boyfriend "sleeping it off," and shaved his butt. Actually, maybe that isn't worse. I've dreamed that my hair was cut short and woke up in a panic. Imagine waking up to a real haircut - ICK! As for the 11 year old, that is just so wrong on so many levels. The mom will regret it more than the daughter, I'm thinking, because get backs are a _______. Well, you know what they say about revenge.

Guineapig
July 26th, 2005, 12:31 PM
"take her and allow her to think she is just having her hair trimmed".......

Excuse me while I shiver. The EXACT thing happened to me at age 6. I had waist length hair and mommy took me to the salon for a "trim". Well I came out with a "pixie" cut and no, I did not get used to it. I never liked it. I cried, and cried and cried about it. I HATED it. And it was a very long time before I was able to trust my mother again. Horrible. Don't do that to your child, it's cruel.

Messyhair
July 26th, 2005, 01:28 PM
Yup, my ma took me for forced perms for years (and she actually wouldn't let me *cut* my hair, even when I was a teen) and I always felt betrayed. To this day I don't trust people very much, and I blame it all on ma. ;)

Lady_Evalyn
July 26th, 2005, 02:12 PM
I don't think my mother ever forced me to have a haircut, but she did encourage me to have it cut short, above the ears when I was younger. Wavy hair doesn't work well with how it was cut and it was all poofy. My sister had it done at the same time, and she had a friend who loved it on us and went in asking for a cut (this girl had waist length hair) and needless to say came out looking like a boy, along with my sister and I. lol. I look back on that now and laugh because we were all so stupid.

But I've never been forced. Doing that to a child is horrible. Even if they want a really stupid haircut, you should let them. Chances are they'll hate it too and never do it again.

Nalia
July 26th, 2005, 02:51 PM
I can't help but think that when we allow ourselves to feel afraid of these people, that we are the losers. If their goal is to control us and make us feel scared and upset, then they've won! So while I definitely find these sites disturbing, and will take all normal precautions to keep myself safe (like I always do), I won't allow some hypothetical fetishists to control my actions and make me live my life in fear. I will continue to enjoy my beautiful hair because I don't want to give them the SATISFACTION of making me afraid.

I hope that others on this site won't give them this satisfaction either :flowers: I can just imagine them reading this thread and all the others where we go on and on expressing our fear of getting our hair cut publically, and getting off on it! :? Please don't allow them to make you live your life in fear.

Thank you CurlyKitten for making my earlier point. Where did I lose my talent for words? But this is exactly what I meant. I did google this too, against my better judgement. What I saw convinced me that we should NOT let things like this make us afraid to have our hair long or wear it in public.

Not to mention that some new members coming here, considering growing long, might read these posts and decide it isn't worth it.

girlndocs
July 26th, 2005, 03:16 PM
By repeating the phrase in the title over and over again, you all are making it likely that this forum will come up in a Google search on the phrase. Including a search done by someone who is interested in that kind of thing.

ChloeDharma
July 26th, 2005, 03:37 PM
I think that obviousely this is going to be a concern for anybody with longer than is the average hair. I personally must admit (although i do think it's shameful) that i have this worry if i go out with a pony tail or braid, especially as my colour makes my hair stand out. I also have the other safety concerns when my hair is grabbable. But i do make myself do it, mainly because when you sit and really think about it, how often does some crazed maniac go running about the place snipping off braids and ponytails? I've definately never seen it (you watch, i bet i'm jinxing myself now! lol)
I think the key, like with other safety issues is to try to be sensible, where i live isn't the nicest or safest area by any means, so if i'm out by myself i stick to busy areas and i keep my hair in a bun. I also take care to keep my bag tucked and not easily picked from, y'know the common sense stuff everybody should do.
But as others have said, it's important not to let yourself get bogged down by all this. At the end of the day we grow our hair to enjoy it, we can't let the hypothetical situations of peoples fantasies make us sit here worrying, i mean i hate to say this but if we were to do that there are much worse fantasies to be concerned about.
I guess the gist is, all we can do is take appropriate steps to be careful and get on with the important things in life.

GlennaGirl
July 26th, 2005, 04:25 PM
Be careful when you're Googling, girls & guys. The most spyware will find its way onto your comp from "smuttier" sites.

I know this because I do a lot of research (I'm a writer) and I've Googled the most seemingly innocent things at times that yielded pretty horrifying results! Usually they're pretty obvious, so I just don't click on the link, but some of these sites put a number of search words and a very non-obvious (is that a word?) search result link so that you click on it anyway. I can't even tell you how much spyware I've contracted this way. :( Yargh. Once I even got smutty results doing a search for diapers (for a baby care article). I won't even expand on that. Use your imagination. :shake: Barf.

Heaven_Draven
July 26th, 2005, 04:41 PM
Wow, seems like quite a few of us have had varying degrees of "nasty" happen!

Let me please clarify a few things though:)
Nalia, I searched for "forced haircuts" partially because I recalled a story posted to LHL back in late 2001/early 2002. I don't recall the exact details, but I do recall that a lady had gone to a salon for a trim, the hairdresser tried to persuade the lady to donate hair to LoL, the donation was refused, and the hairdresser cut off at least 10 inches of hair anyway.

I wondered whether there was any info out there concerning similar incidents, equally, whether there was any info concerning kids who'd been forced into cutting their hair by their parents. (and also, mildly, whether there was anything on women made to cut and sell their hair due to financial problems)

I used the terms "forced haircut" partially because the 2 sets of terms I'd tried brought up nothing useful, (lots of salon ads though :rolleyes: ) and also because I've noticed that google seems to respond better to relatively "simple" searches. A search on "tricked into donating hair" turned up zilch. Trying "forced hair donation" turned up a load of rubbish.

I didn't particularaly search to "wallow", I was more curious.

LadyGodiva - I very much see your point, and I'm aware of the potential for a fantasy element to many things posted on the internet:) And in the popular press! Just because the Weekly World News says a bus is stuck at the North Pole doesn't mean it is lol.

I did get the distinct impression that these were more likely to be real stories than fantasy though, partially based on the fact that they were posted to a site that was more of a "general" discussion board, rather than a fetish-based one.

Lady Clare: Does anyone really sleep that heavily without being drunk??
I've seen non-drunk people sleep heavily enough for their faces to be drawn on by their children, my Dh has slept heavily enough to have his socks pulled off in the middle of the night, and as a kid I slept heavily enough for my Mum to cut my fringe in my sleep, (as mentioned on the other thread) so I think it is possible. Depends on how tired you are I guess.

PurpleBubba - I do agree with your wording, but I also think that what would constitute a particular level of violation is down to the individual.
A while ago I read a magazine story about a woman who was attacked by her ex. He physically assaulted her, and I beleive stripped her, (or stripped her partially) and hacked at her hair. This particular woman said she felt most badly about the hair, not out of vanity or anything like that, but because it was a constant reminder when she looked in the mirror.
Thinking back to the wording though, perhaps violation may have been a better, or at least less controversial choice?

AndiS - I do agree that trolls are a serious problem, but I don't necessarily think we should stop talking about something we find troublesome "only" because some twisted lump might get off on it.

Whether we like it or not, perverts *are* out there, and if we keep quiet about potential dangers, the pervs effectively win. I'd *personally* rather talk about something that bothers me, and become stronger in the process:)
I know not everyone will have the same opinion as me, and I respect their right to hold a different opinion, just as I hope they (those that disagree) respect mine.

Curlykitten - I think there's a difference between being afraid, and being aware:D
There are many things I would not like to happen, but *generally* I am not afraid of them happening. I am aware they *could* happen however.
Generally speaking, it's more likely that my hair could be set on/catch fire than it is that a nutcase would hack it off, but I'm not going to go through life wearing a hood or headscarf to stop it from happening.
I'm careful around naked flames and some other heat sources, and I'm distrustful of anyone with a lighter standing/sitting behind me, but it's mainly commonsense rather than fear - most people know of the dangers of naked flames, I'm just slightly more aware than an average person may be.

The only fire/hair-related thing I do have a fear of is little idiots messing with and throwing fireworks, but I think that's a fairly "realistic" fear, and more related to general personal safety than hair specifically.
It's similar with any other aspect of safety, really.

Nienor
July 26th, 2005, 06:06 PM
Well said, Heaven_Draven.
Regardless of whether the stories are true or not, it does happen, whether by those means or by another. Where there are lovers there are haters, therefore there's got to be someone out there who is crazy enough to chop off someone's locks without permission! Darn hairdresser quacks. This is one reason why I haven't gone to a professional for six years. The last time I went I got about four more inches of hair off than I wanted. Not her fault, granted, she was careful and double checked with me. But since then, I've never got a haircut, and my mom has done all my trims, and I hers.
I do think it's awful that some parents would force their kids into haircuts. Or worse, trick them into haircuts. My mother was always very sweet...still is, actually...I had a bowl cut until I was six or so, but when I wanted to grow it out a bit she let me, and she suggested that I grow out my bangs/fringe. Which I did...there was no pressure involved. I think when the child is very young, yes, of course the parents should take control, but a parent should always have a reason for doing something drastic like chopping off long locks, and should never trick their kid into doing something like that.

AquaViolet1973
July 26th, 2005, 08:29 PM
I think forced haircuts are awful. And tricking someone into cutting their hair is just wrong.
I let my daughter have a say in how she wears her hair. She's almost 8. The only thing I wouldn't let her do to her hair is have it cut really short. Luckily she doesn't want her hair short either, so that isn't a problem.

I remember several years ago I read in the paper about a guy who cut off a woman's ponytail in Saint Paul. So those things do happen. :(
I usually wear my hair down, so it wouldn't be as easy for someone to come up behind me and cut all my hair off. I'm more worried about it if my hair is in a ponytail. But I am still wary of people coming up behind me and trying to cut my hair...shivers...

AquaViolet1973
July 26th, 2005, 08:56 PM
I just remembered another horror story. When I was in high school there was a girl (with short hair) who told me that her hair used to be waistlength...until one day when she was babysitting some kids, and one of them came up behind her with some scissors when she was sitting on a chair and cut her ponytail off!! :scared:

AquaViolet

Faerie
July 26th, 2005, 09:21 PM
This is horrible! I have no idea what I'd do if something like that happened to me, probably kill whoever did this.

Cowgal
July 27th, 2005, 06:20 AM
I am strongly opposed to forced hair cuts and to deceiving children and lying to them--saying you are doing one thing and then, in fact, you do another. I think that is just wrong, and I agree with what PB said.


I agree. And also with Meg, it would be OVER if a BF ever did that to me. :nono:

Nalia
July 27th, 2005, 07:38 AM
I know you didn't search to wallow, Heaven, that's not what I meant. It just bothers me, the fear that I see in some of the posts.

I also googled it out of curiosity, and I don't know if you got the same things I did, but I personally resent the "punishment" aspect of some of them. That just made me nauseous. "Punishing" women by cutting off their hair? Well, can you say LORENA BOBBITT?

Meg_Evenstar
July 27th, 2005, 07:43 AM
I know you didn't search to wallow, Heaven, that's not what I meant. It just bothers me, the fear that I see in some of the posts.

I also googled it out of curiosity, and I don't know if you got the same things I did, but I personally resent the "punishment" aspect of some of them. That just made me nauseous. "Punishing" women by cutting off their hair? Well, can you say LORENA BOBBITT?

I'm sorry, but that has made me laugh and laugh. She did bob it didn't she :rollin:

Meg

princess
August 1st, 2005, 05:35 PM
The forced haircut site is sic. They get a pervert pleasure by posting such stories heightening the punishment aspect of these haircuts. There are many women who just cut their very long hair short into a bob because they want to. My friend's mom cut her hair short. Even now she has her hair as a bob. So why make it like a punishment? Those videos are terrible. And they give pervert people ideas. For all you know the people in the videos may be doing it for money. Just like the people in the porn sites. And I think these stories are not only untrue but gross.

fairygirl69
August 1st, 2005, 08:05 PM
My Mom forced pixie cuts on me from five years old on. I hated them, you can see the embarassment on my face in pictures. When I was thirteen she would take me to the beauty shop for a "trim" and my hair would be hacked off. As a result I grow my hair long and will never want it short. My mom hates my long hair and I used every opportunity to annoy her with it to this day and my hubbies supports me on this. I love her, but boy do I have control issues with my hair.

fairygirl69
August 1st, 2005, 08:18 PM
What is it about pixie cuts?! They're like a crew cut for little girls. I grew up in the seventies and it was rare that I saw little girls who liked them or looked good with that cut. I felt like it was the offical hairstyle of nerds.

fairygirl69
August 1st, 2005, 08:23 PM
My Mom forced pixie cuts on me from five years old on. I hated them, you can see the embarassment on my face in pictures. When I was thirteen she would take me to the beauty shop for a "trim" and my hair would be hacked off. As a result I grow my hair long and will never want it short. My mom hates my long hair and I used every opportunity to annoy her with it to this day and my hubbies supports me on this. I love her, but boy do I have control issues with my hair.

Beatnik Guy
August 2nd, 2005, 03:43 AM
I think it best to close this thread.