Anyone else here love tea sets and finger foods and all the pretty arrangements and serving sets?

I've been wondering if there're any good books out there on proper tea party etiquette that you could recommend. I have picked up tips here and there on tea itself (I prefer using loose tea and use a strainer instead of bags or tea balls), but as far as things like serving etiquette and what to do with the spoon and even arrangement/setting ideas... well.. everytime I try to look in books for information it really doesn't cover it very well :(

I love tea and tea parties, but I'd really love to read up on some of the "proper" ways to do them. I also love the Victorian era (1880's especially), so if you know of any good ones covering that, I'd love to check them out!

I know there're a few of you here that love tea... so it'd just be nice to hear from you all as well.

I love tea and tea parties!

There is a book called "The Charms of Tea" that I own (can't find it right now, so I don't know the author, sorry) that talks about etiquette, gear, menus, and has excerps from literature. It is a lovely book, beautifully illustrated. I used it when I had a tea party e few years ago. My sister (a really good cook) catered. Yummy!
I hope this helps!

I'll have to look that book up! Thanks so much for the reply :D

Edited to add: I think I found the Charms of Tea (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1588163113/qid=1118617794/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-0396169-4567864?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) on amazon.. is that the one? :)

I would love to have a tea party, but no one I know would show up, I think. :wink:

I'm looking for a nice ceramic teapot, but I can't find one anywhere. It needs to be big enough for several mugs of tea and preferrably earthenware. Anyone know where I could get one of those?

(I did try a local ceramic studio, but none of the potters there made teapots.)

You might try looking in a vintage/used book store, for Victorian books or magazines.

As a practical matter, normal "dinner" place setting rules, using the utensils for whatever you're serving, would probably be fine. Use small salad plates, instead of full size plates, set silverware for each place as you would normally, have small tongs, serving spatulas, and the like, for serving food to the plate, and perhaps offer finger-bowls at the end of tea, if you've served finger sandwiches.

You want to set thing up in a way that is understandable to your guests, provides them with the right utensels, but doesn't confuse or frustrate them.

The historical purpose of "tea" as a meal was to provide a more casual and friendly alternative to a formal Victorian dinner. It was a time for the family to come together, or a group of women friends. It was supposed to be fashionable and creative and fun.

You might like the book Savory Suppers and Fashionable Feasts (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0870499122/qid=1118617907/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-8406905-9896110?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) by Susan Williams. The author was associated with the Strong Museum (http://www.strongmuseum.org/) in Rochester, back in the 1980s, when it was really focused on serous social history, before it became more of a childrens museum.

DBF, I found mine at World Market (and I know I've also seen them at the British Emporium in the D/FW area). It seems a bit small, but we fill it pretty full and get quite a few cups of tea out of it. You might check there to see if they have a few to choose from? Not sure what mine is made out of in all honesty, but I think I've seen them around in other shops, too.

I know what you mean about tea parties... I think some of my friends would be interested if they liked tea enough, but maybe they think they'd be afraid it would be a little too stuffy or they would make a "mistake"?.. not sure. I also have the added problem of eating a vegan diet, so everything I'd be serving would be "faux" (like faux cream cheese... stuff like that.. still yummy, but some people don't want to try them).

Fortunately my mother-in-law and husband love having tea, and a friend of mine who lives out of state enjoys sharing a cup of tea over some scones or something like that when she comes to visit every few years :)

DBF, I found mine at World Market (and I know I've also seen them at the British Emporium in the D/FW area). It seems a bit small, but we fill it pretty full and get quite a few cups of tea out of it. You might check there to see if they have a few to choose from? Not sure what mine is made out of in all honesty, but I think I've seen them around in other shops, too.

Cool, thanks! I'll have to check World Market when I get back to Texas. I never think to look there because I forget it exists. :blushing: (We don't have World Market in Alaska, and I've never seen it anywhere else.) Great idea, thanks!

Ursula, thanks for the link to that book! I'll have to keep an eye out for a copy of it. The vintage book thing is a good idea as well, and something I've been wanting to do... some groups might even publish a few little booklets, I'm sure, since there are costuming groups out there who enjoy doing teas like that.

Since I've had to make do on my own, that sounds about how I set up my little informal tea gatherings (trying to mix what you have found out with tablesetting etiquette)... it's just funny because sometimes I get the feeling people think I actually know what I'm doing and I have no idea... hahah! I'd also hate to go to a fancy tea and end up doing some major no-no's :blushing: I wouldn't mind trying to invite more people (a friend and her husband are in the process of moving into my area and we've both chatted about having teas) and reading up on the subject so I actually know what I'm doing, though.

Thanks so much for the replies, everyone! :flower:

I don't remember if you knit, but there's a lovely vintage-inspired tea dress/shirt at Knitty (http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTbelleepoque.html).

Cool, thanks! I'll have to check World Market when I get back to Texas. I never think to look there because I forget it exists. :blushing: (We don't have World Market in Alaska, and I've never seen it anywhere else.) Great idea, thanks!

Drat! I was just looking at their website http://www.costplus.com/ I think is the url, and didn't see it on the site, but then, they have so much they probably can't put everything on there. I can't imagine they would stop carrying them... and since I already have one, I can't remember if they still had them when I was last in there.

Good luck!

I don't remember if you knit, but there's a lovely vintage-inspired tea dress/shirt at Knitty (http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTbelleepoque.html).


Awwwwww!!! That's adorable! I haven't actually knitted in a loooooong time and have only messed with scarves (I need to finish a few of those - I've been baaaad heheheh), but that's definitely adorable. Thanks for posting it.. I'm sure someone will want to try that (who knows, maybe someday I'll give it a try, too) :D

Ursula, thanks for the link to that book! I'll have to keep an eye out for a copy of it. The vintage book thing is a good idea as well, and something I've been wanting to do... some groups might even publish a few little booklets, I'm sure, since there are costuming groups out there who enjoy doing teas like that.

Since I've had to make do on my own, that sounds about how I set up my little informal tea gatherings (trying to mix what you have found out with tablesetting etiquette)... it's just funny because sometimes I get the feeling people think I actually know what I'm doing and I have no idea... hahah! I'd also hate to go to a fancy tea and end up doing some major no-no's :blushing: I wouldn't mind trying to invite more people (a friend and her husband are in the process of moving into my area and we've both chatted about having teas) and reading up on the subject so I actually know what I'm doing, though.

Thanks so much for the replies, everyone! :flower:

I guess my point was that creativity, combined with common-knowledge table manners, is probably closer to the spirit of a Victorian tea than a super-formal setting, following all kinds of obscure rules.

Also, the "ultra formal" rules that people now associate with the Victorians were very much a conceit of the uppermost classes. A middle class woman would not have a lot of specialized dishes, but would probably have one set of "every day" dishes, and perhaps a second set of "fancy" (but perhaps not.)

If you read old Victorian diaries, the teas and parties, when mentioned, don't focus on the rules we think of. They focus (as a similar record would, today) on the people, the nice time they had, how pretty things were, how delicious the food was.

Oh! And for anyone in the Dallas Texas area, there's a Victorian show (an antique show, basically) and one of the speakers this September will be speaking about tea:

http://www.victorianshow.com/

I'm hoping to go - I went to the last one and enjoyed the dealers' booths and watching their fashion show. I'm hoping to have a costume finished to wear (bustle), but no idea if I'll be done in time :lol:

I guess my point was that creativity, combined with common-knowledge table manners, is probably closer to the spirit of a Victorian tea than a super-formal setting, following all kinds of obscure rules.

Thanks for the information, Ursula! :flowers:

Here's another book you might like:

A Very Social Time: Crafting Community in Ante-Bellum New England (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0520205618/ref=lpr_g_1/102-8406905-9896110?v=glance&s=books)

ETA: Edited to fix the link, so it goes to the paperback version.

Ok, I just typed a reply, then somehow deleted it. I have no idea what I
did:silly: Trying again...

I think I found the Charms of Tea (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1588163113/qid=1118617794/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-0396169-4567864?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) on amazon.. is that the one? :)
Hmmm This doesn't look like my book, but it seems very similar. New edition or printing maybe?

I was reading "Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" (An absolute scream, by the way) and she talks about how women used to "serve tea" daily or weekly, always at the same time with a standing invite to her friends. it was informal (women kept their hats on, that's how you could tell:wink: ), whoever could come did, and it was a time to chat and eat yummy treats. It sounds lovely, but totally impractical today. I mean, who is sitting around in the middle of the afternoon?

Well. This is sort of a tangent and not really what you asked for, but the entire text to the Book of Tea (copyright 1909 about the Japanese Tea Ceremony) is online here (http://www.kellscraft.com/bookoftea/bookofteacontents.html). :smile: It is fascinating!

Ohh, very cool! My husband will especially find that link a fun read, Dulci! Thanks!

Dancingmegs, I'll have to look around and see if I can find other versions in case it is a different book... I'll look at a used book store or look a little more on Amazon, too.

I love reading those manners books... heheheheh!

But I have to admit... I don't work right now or have kids, so I could sit around in the middle of the day and yak over tea :lol:

Thanks for the replies, everyone! I guess I'm just a little excited because my husband jumped on eBay last night and ordered a sugar bowl that is in good shape and matches my mom's set of china she gave me (the one I have of hers is broken) :inlove: I hadn't had any luck before when I tried to find it, but we lucked out (which was a totally out of the blue "hey, let's go see if eBay has one" thing). I grew up seeing this set in my mom's china hutch and dreaming of the day I could have coffee and tea with friends and a guy I liked... lucked out! He loves having tea and coffee in china... heehee! :D So yeah, the set means a lot to me and I can't wait to get the sugar bowl and show my mom :D

I am so late to this conversation, but my favorite tea etiquette book is Tea & Etiquette: Taking Tea for Business and Pleasure (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1892123355/102-2949217-6646519?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=507846&s=books&v=glance) by Dorothea Johnson. It covers all the basics.

Also, I just read this really neat book called Tea With Jane Austen (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/097212179X/qid=1120077278/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-2949217-6646519?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) by Kim Wilson, which tells all about Jane Austen's love of tea, and wonderful historical facts about tea during the early 1800's.

Tea Lady

Well. This is sort of a tangent and not really what you asked for, but the entire text to the Book of Tea (copyright 1909 about the Japanese Tea Ceremony) is online here (http://www.kellscraft.com/bookoftea/bookofteacontents.html). :smile: It is fascinating!:lol: Dulci, you beat me to it! I love the Book of Tea.

I'm late on this but I just wanted to say that I love tea and tea parties. I have several tea sets and use to serve tea regularly for my family with the evening meal. Seems as if we kept a pot all day long too. I have several books on tea, but none of them stand out much. However my favorite tea seller is Simpson and Vail. http://www.svtea.com/

I don't know why we ever stopped. :rolleyes: I guess the kids became teenagers and all of the running for activities started. :twisted: Someday Hubby and I will have a slower pace and it will be time for tea again. :wink:

Meg

DBF it seems so wierd that you're having trouble finding a ceramic teapot! They're rather common around here! Although I do remember visiting America about 5 years ago and receiving some strange beverages in cups that people claimed to be "tea" :lol:

Have you tried adagio teas? They have some lovely teapots there in the teaware section: http://www.adagio.com

ETA: Hrm I could have sworn they had ceramic teapots at adagio.com but they seem to be all glass now. Over here you can find good cheap ceramic teapots is at Asian supply shops, or maybe restaurant supply places? If you're looking for a bit better quality then I like Royal Doulton. hrm... must be time for a cuppa :lol:

I forgot to add my thoughts on tea etiquette in my last post.

I quite often throw tea parties - sometimes a carefully researched "High Tea", and sometimes just sandwiches and scones with a pot of good tea (but please, never a teabag!!). I agree with Ursula's sentiment that the most important thing to focus on is good company and good conversation. If your friends are the type to get into the history of it all, then a high tea can be lots of fun!

I see ceramic teapots every once in a while, but I guess I'm just too picky. :lol: I don't want anything flowery or cutesy, and it needs to be large.

Something sort of like this:

http://img189.echo.cx/img189/2913/teapot8ca.jpg

http://img189.echo.cx/img189/3567/dunlap019cd.jpg

I'm really into earthy, 'plain' stoneware. The quest for the ideal teapot is not a rush, really, but I appreciate all the pointers! Maybe with all the LHC help, I'll find it! :smile:

I think I recall seeing teapots at Starbuck's.