My 9 year old girl is driving us all crazy. One minute she is fine, the next, she is furious, then sad, crying, etc. Her temper is legendary. She also is having trouble sleeping: wants to stay up later and later and sleep in. In spite of this, she is very popular at school and gets very good grades. Help!

I can't really offer any advice but I can sympatize somewhat. My DD is turning 7 later this month and she is already into major drama :rolleyes: Her moods can change so fast I don't even know what happened!!! This morning she went into a crying fit because I wouldn't let her wear the boots she picked out. One day last week she came home from school in a wonderful mood, singing and skipping up to the door, an hour later she was in an awful mood, grumpy as could be and told me she was depressed (her word) because her brother was outside playing with a friend and she didn't have a friend over to play with. So then she spent hours pouting inside on the couch, shooting down everything I had suggested to try and cheer her up. (The friend she wanted to play with is only in the neighborhood on weekends)

I hear ya on the temper issue too - such a little Diva she's becoming. She'll stand there with her hands all clenched and scream at her brother as loud as she can. From what my best friend tells me about things going on at her house ( and what I hear in the background when we're on the phone - she has 4 girls - twins 11 yrs old, an 8 yr old, and a 7 yr old) this can go on for quite some time :(

I'll definately be watching this thread to see if there's any advice I can use too :neutral:

i have an 8 and 10 year old. and boy do they ever have mood swings!! so i definately know what you are going through.

they drive me up the wall. espacially my 10 year old. she doesn't know when to stop. she has to keep pushing and pushing.

the happy one minute pissed off the next is getting old. and the thing is she really doesn't realize what she is doing. must be all those hormones getting ready to kick in.

AARRGGHHH!!!!!!!

wow, sounds like you all have a fun few years to look forward to!

I can't really offer any advice but I can sympatize somewhat. My DD is turning 7 later this month and she is already into major drama :rolleyes: Her moods can change so fast I don't even know what happened!!! This morning she went into a crying fit because I wouldn't let her wear the boots she picked out. One day last week she came home from school in a wonderful mood, singing and skipping up to the door, an hour later she was in an awful mood, grumpy as could be and told me she was depressed (her word) because her brother was outside playing with a friend and she didn't have a friend over to play with. So then she spent hours pouting inside on the couch, shooting down everything I had suggested to try and cheer her up. (The friend she wanted to play with is only in the neighborhood on weekends)

I hear ya on the temper issue too - such a little Diva she's becoming. She'll stand there with her hands all clenched and scream at her brother as loud as she can. From what my best friend tells me about things going on at her house ( and what I hear in the background when we're on the phone - she has 4 girls - twins 11 yrs old, an 8 yr old, and a 7 yr old) this can go on for quite some time :(

I'll definately be watching this thread to see if there's any advice I can use too :neutral:


exactly! just like my little *ahem* princess. it all started around the age of 7, too.

My youndes DD is 11 and she is the same way. She drives us crazy. I was told by the doc that our DD's are very tuned into us and our time of month. If we are going through pms they go through it with us or very close to the time we do. They are going through hormone changes and their bodies are preparing for their time of month. My DD also started around 7 with these severe mood swings. We never know what she's going to do. I notice they really accelerate around pms after tracking her for a few months. Hang in there it's supposed to get better.

Well, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with hormone issues! Mine are 9 and 10 and between their fighting, the drama at school, and the mood swings I'm going nuts:brickwall . I guess now I know how my hubby feels with me!:hatchet:

OMG, that sounds so familiar! I agree about the hormones too. We develop earlyish in my family and both my kids were in bras by 9. The wild hormonal mood swings began around 7 for my youngest. My oldest is 12 and last year, she went through a phase where everything would be fine and then she'd be crying and upset for no real reason. Hormones are so. much. fun. :face: It seems like we're all moody beeches around the same time too...or maybe it's just me and I perceive everyone that way. :wink:

(((Piperdiva)))) Yes, I have a "tween". He is 10 years old and very moody. He is also a drama king, so things in my household are rarely calm. Keep repeating, "this, too, shall pass....this, too, shall pass..." :flower:

:shocked: Wow...may the force walk with you

As a nonparent I have sympathy but no advice, but might the reluctance to sleep be related to the approach of puberty? I did a quick google and came up with this about teenagers:

http://www.familyeducation.com/article/0,1120,68-323,00.html
I think I'm scared of being a parent now... ;)

I (obviously) don't have tween children, but this is kind of interesting since I am still somewhat young enough to remember what things feel like from your children's points of view. I remember this as a time when the relationship I had with my parents as a child was being redefined, but it seemed to me that I was changing at a faster rate than my parents were willing to acknowledge or something like that . . . suffice to say that I'm still at a point where I can see it from their point of view too. The thought about the girls picking up on the mom's cycle is really interesting, and something I've never heard of before but does make some sense. My mother had a hysterectomy though when I was quite young, so I don't think that probably applied so much in my case . . . however I don't think that lessened her moodswings either.

My girls are both older and I can't recall them going through this at that age. The terrible ages were 13/14 and 17. At 13/14 it was hormonal hell and at 17 they were flighty and thought they knew everything.

One of my daughters is still 17 so my life is grand at the moment. :shake:

Yeah, I get the distinct feeling that the 'tween years ARE the easy part of the rest of their childhood! I fear the teen years. I fear them a lot. I remember what it was like being a teen. I'm not my mother and my kids aren't me. They're still going to be teenagers. Ack. :::hyperventilating::::

I fear the teen years. I fear them a lot. I remember what it was like being a teen. I'm not my mother and my kids aren't me. They're still going to be teenagers. Ack. :::hyperventilating::::
:lol: It's okay, Rain... You'll get through them just fine. We're still alive, right? Honestly.. Some days are difficult but it's just a stage. It does pass. {{Rain}}

BTW, I saw your daughter's hair in your journal. It's soo cute! It reminds me of my youngest daughter's hair. When she was 14 she wanted blue hair like that so I helped her bleach it out (Had to touch her roots up regularly, too.. What a pain!) and then dye it. I used to tell her that she had mermaid hair.. :grin: She kept her hair blue for nearly a year before she wanted a change..

I haven't read all of the posts to this yet. I do not have any children (much less 'tween girls) . . . BUT . . . I HAVE spent the last 14 years working with 'tween kids!

Here are a few things I know and will suggest:

mood swings - you are confused about who your kid is . . . but so are they! They do not know if they want to be kids or adults - but whatever they choose, it is NOT how you are treating them at the time. This is so normal.

Chart those mood swings. Especially if they seem to be periods of up, then down. This can be one indicator of whether her hormones are kicking in and her periods might start. Also, remember, the beginnings of sexual hormones start kicking in years before the body starts with primary and secondary sexual features.

Sleep - brain research shows that adolescents have a difficult time going to bed "early" and waking up "early." The study I heard/read said that if an adolescent could function on his/her own schedule (and still go to school, etc), then it would be normal to go to sleep at 1-2am and wake up around 9am. Adolescents also need more sleep (I think that's what the article said). The article/research said that some school districts have chanced high school start times based on the results of the study(ies).

Try not to take things too personally. Keep your cool (as best you can). Most of their mood swings (that get taken out on you) are not necessarily because of things you did or said. It is just that it is easier to lash out at you. Not what you want to hear, I know.

Anyway, I'm sure I have more ideas, but that's all I can think of right now.

Wishes for peaceful times for all you parents of 'tweeners!

:lol: It's okay, Rain... You'll get through them just fine. We're still alive, right? Honestly.. Some days are difficult but it's just a stage. It does pass. {{Rain}}

BTW, I saw your daughter's hair in your journal. It's soo cute! It reminds me of my youngest daughter's hair. When she was 14 she wanted blue hair like that so I helped her bleach it out (Had to touch her roots up regularly, too.. What a pain!) and then dye it. I used to tell her that she had mermaid hair.. :grin: She kept her hair blue for nearly a year before she wanted a change..


Yeah, we'll get through it. I'm suddenly seeing more and more white hairs on my head though. Coincidence!?! :lol:

Thank you! I surprise myself by actually liking the blue too. It goes well with her brown skin and really makes her blue eyes pop. We had to bleach her hair first too even though it was already light. It has to be really blonde for the color to show up best. Unfortunately, we used Manic Panic's bleach kit and only found out after the fact that it shouldn't be used next to the scalp. It can cause burns. Yikes! When the blue washes out over the course of a week or so, it fades to shades of blue-green and green and it looks like mermaid hair. A few people have said she looks like a sea monster. :lol:

one word. Hormones. don't worry, boys can be and do become worse. some things to try: sports, to get the excess energy/anger out. and, what i believe made me so well-rounded, books!! they're the cure for everything. and none of those "teenage" books, those are poopoo. they might even justify the Diva behavior and promote other annoying behaviors. other than that, have fun :) it'll be over before you kow it and when she's off to college you'll wish you had it all back. c'est la vie. good luck!

I totally disagree about the teen books. My kids have a lot of the American Girl books about growing up and they are fabulous. Actually, I guess these are tween books rather than teen books. :grin: I especially like The Care and Keeping of You (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1562476661/qid=1114320194/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-0128534-4408133?v=glance&s=books), which goes over general self-care, including the physical changes that happen as a girl goes from child to adolescent. Some of these topics are awkward and uncomfortable for kids to bring up at any random time they a have a question. They can read the book when no one's looking and get good information without having to be embarrassed. Not that the book should be the only source of information but it's good to have. IMO.

another possibility for girls (actual tweens though, not 7yos and the like) is www.girlspace.com which is operated by Kotex, and might be a good way of helping them through embarassing times without too many embarassing discussions. www.beinggirl.com is another good one, which has lots of useful information aimed at that age group.

I wanna second the American Girl book series, I read them a LOT when I was younger, and there are different girls so that different kids can identify with them. The books are short-enough that they are read pretty easily, and there are several in a series for when you want to go back for more.

My mom said I wasn't the typical girl, that I was "born already a college student" - because I never really did the teenage drama thing, nor did I ever care much about fashion/makeup/whatever. I also liked to go to bed early and wake up early (the opposite of the rest of my family) which is the opposite of what the studies say.
I've never been "normal" :silly:

I know a lot of girls who go through it, some were still doing the teen-drama thing when they were working with me! I don't think there is a cure.

I totally disagree about the teen books. My kids have a lot of the American Girl books about growing up and they are fabulous. Actually, I guess these are tween books rather than teen books. :grin: I especially like The Care and Keeping of You (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1562476661/qid=1114320194/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-0128534-4408133?v=glance&s=books), which goes over general self-care, including the physical changes that happen as a girl goes from child to adolescent. Some of these topics are awkward and uncomfortable for kids to bring up at any random time they a have a question. They can read the book when no one's looking and get good information without having to be embarrassed. Not that the book should be the only source of information but it's good to have. IMO.


hi! American Girl aren't exactly teen books, more like elemtary school books (at least that's how i remember it from my childhood. they're written about girls and there are a whole bunch of volumes) ;and i meant actual teen novels, not self-help books--these are actually quite helpful. so i meant literature in general. many people don't realize the power of a book. anyhow, if you didn't notice my age, i'm right in there. so i do know what i'm talking about. :)

Spunkimonkey, a tween is between the ages of 9 and 11. Girls that age are usually in elementary school.

Spunkimonkey, a tween is between the ages of 9 and 11. Girls that age are usually in elementary school.

yeah? golly...i've read numerous times that a 'tween' is a middleschooler, as in 6th grade. at least that's how they're portrayed in my neck of the woods. regardless, my advice still stands. >from one who's been here, there, and everywhere in the "growing up" world.

Ok, I have no idea what I'm doing here but ah well. I can honestly say that mood swings are a magor thing. I think I started getting them at about 9ish. (i'm 15 now.) I think it's the first of the hormones kicking in really. I wouldn't worry too much, it's nothing personal to you. And the mood swings are probably just as confusing for her as they are for you. I still find my mood swings confusing.

As for the sleeping thing, I've got the exact same thing. I won't go to bed till around 1-2AM and then I don't want to get up till midday. It wasn't as bad when I was younger, 10 or 11PM were my limits then.

It might help to talk to your daughter about her moodswings, although I'm not sure what you could say. I know this will sound odd but try giving your daughter chocolate (if she's allowed it)... I find it really helps with my mood swings. If I'm feeling fine, then I start feeling low, a little chocolate picks me right up again. :rockerdud

I don't know how much this helps, but I thought i'd try and help out a little

good luck :flowers:

I have 2 tweens (one daughter is 11 and the other will be 9 next month) This place is drama central most of the time. During the summer I don't have them on a set schedule...such as bedtime..etc. I let them sleep in, which gives me the mornings to do my own thing. I did start them on bedtime schedule last week so it wasn't such a blow to them when school started. Today was their first full day. They get up pretty early during the school year and have pretty much a set schedule. I can already see a big difference. Starting to wonder if being so lenient on them during summer months is a good thing or not. Don't want to become the ogre, though. ;-)