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Cegirls
May 11th, 2004, 05:48 AM
Yeeks! My 6yr old has beautiful ash blonde mid-back length hair. It's just plain gorgeous - blonde you can't bottle, slightly wavy, and thick. Just of late, we grew out a portion of her bangs, and they are now mid-neck on her... Now, since she is one of few in her kindergarten class that has long hair, SHE WANTS TO CUT IT OFF!!! :wail: We do put it up everyday to keep it out of the way, and off of her neck - it's just easier that way for little ones...

We started growing it out when she was 2yrs, b/c she wanted to look like Cinderella... :inlove: I get about 2in cut off every 3-4mos, and it stays wonderfully healthy with just shampoo and conditioner... Can you tell I am in mourning?! LOL Any words of advice to sway her mind?? Thanks! ;)

wonderlywroughte
May 11th, 2004, 06:11 AM
Oh, her hair sounds beautiful! Does she want to cut it because she's the one of the only ones in her class with long hair? If so, you could try to convice her that the updos make it appear shorter?

Shelly
May 11th, 2004, 06:11 AM
Well, unfortunately there's not much you can do except do everything you can to talk her out of it. Tell her about the fact that there are more styles you can do with long hair that you can't do with short hair. Tell her she may not like short hair and miss her long hair. I don't know what else to tell you. My older 2 girls cut their hair from waist to a little longer than shoulder length here a few years ago. I did all I could to talk them out of it. All they could do after they had it done was tell me that they wish they hadn't have done it and they would be growing it back out. After I cut mine from tailbone to BSL because of damage, they told me that if they didn't cut their hair, it would be longer than mine. Needless to say, they regretted cutting it for many reasons. :)

HTH

butterscotch girl
May 11th, 2004, 06:29 AM
Here are some ideas:

*Read the book/put on the movie Cinderella to re-inspire her love of long hair.

*Offer to buy her some cool hairtoys when her hair reaches a certain goal.

*Does she know the story of Rapunzel? Tell her that if she should find herself in a tower, she would have to wait a very long time before her hair was long enough to help her escape and be free.

*Find a completely new hairstyle for her- maybe if she's been wearing the same ones, she just wants a change.

*Measure her hair (weekly?) and give her rewards and praise for every half inch accomplished.

heather
May 11th, 2004, 06:32 AM
make her wait for a bit to be sure, and do the things that other people have posted, but then let her cut it if she still wants.


heather
edited to add- i know it's disappointing, but if she does cut, try to seem happy about it. i still remember in a bad way how my mother told me she didn't like my short hair that i had picked out for myself when i was a little girl (not saying that you would do something like that, hope i'm not offending you :) )

Lina
May 11th, 2004, 06:45 AM
I really feel for you- I know I will be going through the same thing with my dd when she gets older. It just scares me to think that she might want to cut her hair. Her papa likes short hair on women and he isn't very pleased with my stance on this. All I can remember is that stupid bowl haircut I had when I played soccer. I hate even looking at those pictures!

I don't have any direct experience in this but I agree that I would ask her to wait a month or until XX date and if she still wants to cut it then decide.

*edits* <<<Well in the short time I have been on this board, I know this was unrealistic in the back of my mind- but thanks for keeping me in check. I would love my dd to have long hair but it is her hair...>>>
I know this will get flames but I am going with the house rule that my dd can cut her hair when she moves out. She is one now and my attitude about this topic really ticks off a few of our family members. :boxer:

butterscotch girl
May 11th, 2004, 06:51 AM
I have an idea for a new style you could do for her that would give her something different for a change AND make her hair appear shorter. Just tell her that she simply doesn't need to cut her hair because you know a hair secret that will make her hair look shorter. She can then have the fun of fooling her classmates into THINKING that she cut her hair! Well here's the style that your situation reminded me of: http://www.dreamweaverbraiding.com/braids/lhknot.htm The kids will probably think that the braid is a fake hairpiece, because those are so common in the new generation.

HEY GUYS, MAYBE WE NEED A LITTLE LONG HAIR SECTION ON THIS WEBSITE FOR KIDS!!! They obviously need support with their long hair too. Maybe someone at school told her that long hair is not cool, and that's why most people don't have long hair. That could be the whole reason why she wants to cut it. If there was a board for kids, they could meet other long-haired kids their age, and not feel alone with their tresses. It could be a more censored board than this one. There could be a rule that it is only for children with at least one parent who is a member of the regular community.

Cegirls
May 11th, 2004, 07:01 AM
Thank you, thank you for all of the suggestions! I will keep talking, and look for a Rapunzel book! (Duh, me! How did I forget that?!? :) )

And, no, no offense from you, Heather - I know she would look just as cute with short hair, but I know that I would have to hide a tear or two! ;)

Carolyn
May 11th, 2004, 07:09 AM
I know you must be heartbroken. But what will you do if she takes the scissors and cuts it off herself? As a child who was forced to have short hair, my mom never listened to why I wanted long hair and didn't care if I would take care of it myself or not. I think you should listen to her and validate her wanting to cut her hair. Listen to what she says. You don't have to agree. Just say something like I understand honey. Explain to her that she may not like it shorter and that it will take months or even years to have long hair again. Then tell her she must wait a month before you will take her to have it cut or cut it yourself. Tell her thats a rule if you have long hair. Then if she wants say 6" cut off she can't have more than 3" cut. Make it half of what she wants. Tell her thats a long hair rule too. Also read her the long hair fairy tales she loves. She may still want her hair cut but you will have done all you can.

JaguarGirl
May 11th, 2004, 07:36 AM
I know this will get flames but I am going with the house rule that my dd can cut her hair when she moves out. She is one now and my attitude about this topic really ticks off a few of our family members. :boxer:



LOL..Wait til she hits her teens. Out of my five daughters..I allow my 2 oldest to decide how they want their hair. My two middle daughters, 9 & 10..go by how I think their hair should look. With the exception that my oldest middle wants no bangs..and I tell her as long as its "out of her face" that is fine, but if I have to look at her with bangs in her eyes..is going to be cut.
My two teens..impossible to tell them anything..they want their hair the way they want..and as long as its not some weird look..fine by me.They have to live with it! Their friends keep them in check, however..they wouldn't dare go to school with a drastic change in hairstyle.

My oldest DD wanted her hair dark underneath to contrast with her blond hair. I wrinkled my nose at first..but I compromised. I used henna to dye the underlying pieces..and surprisely it looks cute. Her hair is very healthy and past her shoulders. I do not allow her to damage her hair..thats my only rule

summr
May 11th, 2004, 08:49 AM
When my daughter was really little she had really long hair, but she was a tomboy and wouldn't let me brush it.
Then we cut it and she had it about shoulder length for awhile.

She grew it out again and its been long ever since. I encourage my kids to be who they are and I allow them to do what they want- within reason of course.

Ex: I used to dye punky colors, my sister does and my daughter wanted to. I got a bottle of SE semi and did a portion of her hair- it looked really good and washed out little by little and her hair is fine.

Mamacat
May 11th, 2004, 08:51 AM
Oh no! I know how sad you must feel thinking about your DD wanting her pretty hair cut off. I also have a 6 yr old DD who is one of the few long hairs in kindergarten. I think she might have the longest hair of all the kindergarten classes since she is almost at tailbone (when braided it's just above her waist lol she just doesn't have much distance between waist and tailbone).

When she was 3 she decided she wanted it short like her best friends, found scissors that my DH had left out ( :hatchet: :brickwall ) and chopped her own hair. If she is talking about short hair make SURE you keep evil scissors out of her reach at home. Once my DD did have short hair she decided she didn't really like it that much and didn't want it cut again.

Now my DD loves her long hair and loves being one of the few little girls in class with really long hair. She likes that it makes her different. She also loves to get hair toys :thumbsup: Next time your out shopping take her to look in the hair section. Let her pick out some cute clips (we have bunny rabbit, bear, flower, blinking christmas tree clips) or pony ties (again we have flowers, ladybugs, multi-colored ends, characters, blinking). Don't worry if they aren't the most hair friendly in the world. I always figured it was better for my DD to pick out what she liked and have fun with her hair than to want to cut it again.

If you always wear it up (my DD usually has hers braided everyday for school) then let her wear it down at home on weekends and for 'special days' at school. It makes my little girl feel wonderful when she wears it down to school for a kindergarten play or special event and everyone tells her how pretty it is. And she has fun swishing and swaying it around when she wears it down at home. Sure, it takes me longer to detangle it but she also knows she would miss being able to do that.

Like the others said tell her that she has to think about it for awhile before it can be cut. School should be out in another month and maybe once she isn't in class seeing all the short hair everyday it won't be on her mind so much. Then you can have all summer to show her how special and fun long hair can be :)

Sorry this got so long...it just know how sad I would feel to see my DD's hair cut. I know someday she will probably want to but I'm hoping it's a long way off.

GlebeGirl
May 11th, 2004, 09:00 AM
I know this will get flames but I am going with the house rule that my dd can cut her hair when she moves out. She is one now and my attitude about this topic really ticks off a few of our family members. :boxer:

Hey, Lina. No flames, but I am very curious to know why you are instituting this rule. Are there religious reasons as well? I can't imagine it going easily for you once she gets to school and starts to really develop her sense of individuality.

KateMcC
May 11th, 2004, 09:01 AM
One of the other long hair sites has a list of "longhair fairy tales" from around the world. I also thought about compromising on how much is cut. It sounds like this is a really good opportunity to listen to your daughter. It could be that she's feeling left out at school, or wants to be more popular, or someone's been teasing her. If after understanding why and trying to talk her out of cutting her hair, she is still adament about it, please try to work out a compromise you are both happy with. I was forced to wear my hair "according to house rules" while growing up and now at 35, I'm still angry over it. It wasn't like I wanted it spiked or dyed or anything extreme. It became such a source of argument, rebellion and resentment. Such a stupid thing to have a power struggle over. Here's hoping it all works out to both of your satisfaction.

morguebabe
May 11th, 2004, 09:02 AM
Maybe let her cut it a bit - shes only 6.... let her cut it... I dont think its fair parents enforce how kids wear their hair....

Rotch
May 11th, 2004, 09:27 AM
Knowing that long hair is MY preference, I always allowed my four girls to wear their hair as they wished. Except, a few times when I made my youngest cut hers b/c she refused to comb it! (lol)

Lina
May 11th, 2004, 09:42 AM
Hey, Lina. No flames, but I am very curious to know why you are instituting this rule. Are there religious reasons as well? I can't imagine it going easily for you once she gets to school and starts to really develop her sense of individuality.

I know the real reason I want her to grow her hair out is because I still hate the fact that my hair was always cut short. I don't remember wanting long hair until I was a pre-teen though so I guess I will ask my mom about that one. I honestly don't want to live vicariously through my daughter's hair so I guess I better change my views on this- gosh it is so hard. I want my dd to love having beautiful long hair and I know that the only way that is really going to happen is if she makes that decision for herself.

I was forced to wear my hair "according to house rules" while growing up and now at 35, I'm still angry over it. .... It became such a source of argument, rebellion and resentment. Such a stupid thing to have a power struggle over.

Kate- thank you for the insight to how this might effect my relationship with my dd in the future.

moonchimes
May 11th, 2004, 09:54 AM
I have 10 yr old twin daughters with almost tailbone hair length...but they have never wanted to cut it yet..maybe because mom is a long hair too?..LOL...

Anyway, maybe play up the barbie thing with her since she is 6 yrs. old. I bought my twins Rapunzel barbie back in the day and they LOVED her and her hair. Some of the other barbies they had I let them cut their hair so they could actually see 1st hand the amount of hair that gets cut off when cutting short, and to see the physical difference in how she looked before and after. They were curious at this point, so thats why I let them do it.

My DD's were the only long hairs in kindergarden...and now are still the only long hairs in 4th grade. Its funny now, because as their female classmates are starting to develop a sense of self and style, they too are trying now to grow their hair out.

yippeeeee for long hair :)

Mamid
May 11th, 2004, 10:27 AM
My DD wanted to cut her hair at the time because it was getting in her way. Her then foster mother and I confered and agreed to cut it. My mother freaked. DD was happy with her short hair and I think somewhere I still have that lock.

Long hair has to be wanted by the individual. If they don't want it, they will cut it themselves.

DiamondHeart
May 11th, 2004, 10:42 AM
Let her get it cut.

Explain that it will take time to grow back. But I think it would be good for her to realize that she can make her own choices about some things, and that sometimes you need to think ahead some.

If she misses her hair, try to keep from saying "I told you so!". Imagine how much you would hate it if someone told you that. (not that you would- just making a point...) Help her to grow it back out if she wants it.

I always wanted long hair when I was little, but my mom didn't want to go to the trouble to detangle it, so I was forced into a pixie cut. I've been growing it out every since I moved OUT of that house and I LOVE it.

Anyway. It's her hair, it won't really hurt anyone if she gets it cut. Sure, it is beautiful, but isn't half the beauty her wanting to be like Cinderella and feeling like it's her special thing? If she doesn't want it, she won't love her long hair, which is what having long hair is all about. It will always grow back.

~Diamond~

Daneille
May 11th, 2004, 11:53 AM
I was one who when I wanted it short I cut it. My Mom had to have it fixed several times. The last time I was about 14. Tail bone to above shoulders in a heartbeat. It is my hair to grow or cut as I choose. I have always felt that way regardless of my family opionion or rules. My children always had the say so about their hair too. Daughter is now 23 and has long hair because she wants it that way. It is one way to have a say about yourself.As a young person, (even a tiny person) there are not many ways to express yourself. You have someone in charge of food, clothes, friends, time, just about everything. Hair can be yours.
Daneille

Wanita
May 11th, 2004, 12:41 PM
Knowing that long hair is MY preference, I always allowed my four girls to wear their hair as they wished.
Bob, that's short, sweet and to the point. I agree. My 3 girls would look awesome in long hair, but teenage years are the times they want to do all sorts of stuff with their hair. I did different stuff with my hair over the years before I decided to try long. It's just too bad I didn't decide on long when I had maximum growing power (i.e., in my 20's).

My 18yo just left for a hair trim, and I personally hope no one talks her into short. Her hair is thick and grows like a weed - it's almost BS. But the reason I told her not to cut it all off is because the rest of us don't want to live with her being crabby, and hating her hair! :wink: Can you tell this has happened before with this child?

I would tell your daughter to think about it for 2 weeks, and if she still really wants to have a haircut, then she can. And if she gets it cut and doesn't like it short, tell her that hair grows, and it'll be back in no time!

Rain
May 11th, 2004, 06:08 PM
If you want her to keep it long, maybe give her a few weeks to think it over before she cuts. If she still wants to do it in, say, a month, then I would let her. I'm a firm believer in letting my kids do what they want (within reason) to their hair. I grew up with a strict mother and I always had to wear my hair the way she wanted it until one day, I'd had enough and took a pair of scissors and a bottle of dye and got the hair I wanted.

I had lots of rules growing up and some of them seemed to have a point but the hair thing never made sense to me, especially because I was supposed to be in control of my own body. My kids are the ones who have to go out into the world and walk around with it on their heads so I think they should have the final say about it (again, within reason). Ultimately, it's just hair - it will grow back.

Alun
May 11th, 2004, 08:42 PM
Both my wife and I have long hair, and I think it's no coincidence that both of us were made to have short styles by our parents. I think that's why we have it long now. I've seen all her old photos and, of course, hers was longer than mine, but it was still short for a girl.

If you force kids to have long hair, or short hair, whichever, the chances are that eventually they will rebel, and they may choose the opposite of what you like for the rest of their life! This holds true whether you just prefer long hair, or whether you prefer long hair on girls and short hair on boys, or whatever

On the other hand, peer pressure is also very real. We let my son's hair grow when he was small, but later he wanted it cut short. It's hard to say how much of that may have been peer pressure, but he's still only 10. Still, he seems to like his short style. I was sad when he had it cut, but it's his hair.

Now our daughter (aged 7) wants her hair cut shorter. However, she still wants it over her shoulders, and we both agree that we feel comfortable with that. We're not rushing her to the salon the day after tomorrow, though. I doubt if peer pressure is involved, as there are several genuinely long-haired girls in her peer group.

Sorry if I'm prattling on at length. Anyway, I don't know how I'd feel if either of them wanted, say, a purple mohican, but within reason I think you shouldn't make it into an issue. Life is too short to waste it that way. This is definitely one area where I don't want to copy my parents.

Kati75
May 11th, 2004, 09:52 PM
I agree - it's a shame, but her hair, her decision. As long as she doesn't want a bald head or anything, let her wear her hair the way SHE likes it. I have a bad feeling thinking of all those ways of manipulating a kid - do you really want to reward hair growth (her hair will grow no matter what she does, it's not an accomplishment - it's a reward for what in your eyes is beauty and I think that's unhealthy)? Dou you really want to make her think that you love her more if she looks like a little princess? That way, you may just spoil long hair for her forever. If you let her cut it now, she may grow it back eventually because she wants to. There's only one way you might prevent the chop: Ask her if the only reason she wants to cut is because the other kids have short hair. If so, talk about peer pressure with her. Tell her that it's so good that everyone is different and that cutting your hair the same way as someone else doesn't mean those two people will look the same afterwards.

Anna McBride
May 11th, 2004, 10:06 PM
I know the real reason I want her to grow her hair out is because I still hate the fact that my hair was always cut short.

Lina, you're just about to do the same thing to your kid! Do you want her to say one day, I'll always cut my hair short because when I was a kid, my mom wouldn't let me?

MisaLady
May 12th, 2004, 03:16 AM
One of the other long hair sites has a list of "longhair fairy tales" from around the world. I also thought about compromising on how much is cut. It sounds like this is a really good opportunity to listen to your daughter. It could be that she's feeling left out at school, or wants to be more popular, or someone's been teasing her. If after understanding why and trying to talk her out of cutting her hair, she is still adament about it, please try to work out a compromise you are both happy with. I was forced to wear my hair "according to house rules" while growing up and now at 35, I'm still angry over it. It wasn't like I wanted it spiked or dyed or anything extreme. It became such a source of argument, rebellion and resentment. Such a stupid thing to have a power struggle over. Here's hoping it all works out to both of your satisfaction.

I had a similar experience.

My hair was ALWAYS a source of struggle between my mother and myself. She cut my hair when I wanted to grow it out - frequently. She wouldn't let me dye it ("You know that people pay good money to have hair the same color as yours"). She'd perm it with the really little, tight curls and it would turn out looking like a 'fro :silly: .

So, in junior high, I dyed it black without her permission. It looked awful, and I knew it did... especially since I missed some spots, but if she'd let me dye it the brown that I'd wanted to, she could have helped me AND it would have looked nice. Instead, she got mad and cut most of it off right away... then, after it grew out some, cut the rest of the color out.

Then, when I moved out of the house a couple of years later, I didn't want to ever cut my hair again... to the point of not even going in for regular trims. The bottom couple of inches looked awful by the time I finally allowed my hair to be cut some.

I always wonder... if she'd let me do what I wanted with my hair, like she has for my little sisters (who, btw, have almost always had long hair), that maybe I would've learned to like it and take better care of it than I did.

melisanda
May 12th, 2004, 03:17 AM
I remember when I was little, everybody, especially girls, admired long hair so i never any peer pressure to cut my hair short when I was younger (it was never very long, midback at the longest). I thought all little children loved or at least admired long hair!

Anyway, I would do some interesting updos on her, take her to the store and show her pretty hair toys etc. If that doesn't work, let her trim it shorter. my parents liked me better with short hair and would constantly trying to persuade me to have them cut shorterh. They did let me have long hair but I hated constantly hearing Oh, your hair would be so much thicker if it was cut shorter etc. It was my hair!
So what i am trying to say is, don't force her to do (or not do anything) to her hair. If she insists on having it cut, let her do it. The sooner she starts taking decisions about her own body, the better. Forcing something on a child is not a good idea.
And if she finally does have it cut, don't tell her how much better she looked with long hair and how she hurt you or anything like that.

JaguarGirl
May 12th, 2004, 03:19 AM
LOL..Lenas daughter is only one..I think that she will more than likely change the way she feels. I recall being a stickler about things, but kids are not extensions of ourselves, I found out. They have their own wants and desires and just won't be swayed. Its easier to allow them to be an individual and learn the consequences than to dictate how they should dress and wear their hair. Sometimes a kid walking around saying "Oh, I wish I hadn't done this to my hair" is the best thing. Kids learn to THINK carefully next time.
I find that arguments with my mother over my daughters hair is the biggest thing. My mother is a controller..and everytime my daughters want something differant done to their hair..I have to hear her yap about it!
Hair is the least of my worries though..my daughter wants to get her belly button pierced! She is 15..several kids have gotten it done in her school....and she is nagging me to allow her to get it done....I don't know?

Any thoughts? Now I have mine done..but i was 30....I also have a tattoo..but again..it was last summer and I was 32....She wants a small one on her back....sighhhhh

Am i being unreasonable? Isn't 15 a little young?

MisaLady
May 12th, 2004, 03:21 AM
I'd tell her "Ok, honey... after Xdate, if you still want to, you can. We'll go through magazines and books and pick out a length and style that you're interested in."

Make the date a month or two later and don't mention it again. If she brings it up, then remind her of the date... if it has already passed, do what you said. Perhaps even say "... but no shorter than..." and if you still want it shorter than that a couple of months after you get your hair cut, we'll talk about it.

MisaLady
May 12th, 2004, 03:26 AM
Hair is the least of my worries though..my daughter wants to get her belly button pierced! She is 15..several kids have gotten it done in her school....and she is nagging me to allow her to get it done....I don't know?

Any thoughts? Now I have mine done..but i was 30....I also have a tattoo..but again..it was last summer and I was 32....She wants a small one on her back....sighhhhh

Am i being unreasonable? Isn't 15 a little young?

I'd tell her to wait until she turns 16 to get the piercing, and not until she's 18 with the tattoo. One of my concerns is that if you say no to the piercing, she'll get a friend to do it... in a not so sterile way... and then just hide it from you. On top of that, piercings aren't as permanent as tattoos. (I had a friend whose mother let her get her bellybutton pierced when she got a job... fair trade, I'd say. If she's responsible enough to hold down a job, then it is only fair to let her get something semi-permanent done to her own body if she wants. Maybe you could try that tactic.)

summr
May 12th, 2004, 04:03 AM
Hair is the least of my worries though..my daughter wants to get her belly button pierced! She is 15..several kids have gotten it done in her school....and she is nagging me to allow her to get it done....I don't know?

Any thoughts? Now I have mine done..but i was 30....I also have a tattoo..but again..it was last summer and I was 32....She wants a small one on her back....sighhhhh

Am i being unreasonable? Isn't 15 a little young?





My daughter is 13 and she wants her bb done too. I had mine done two yrs ago. I did what MisaLady suggested, I told her she had to wait for a couple of yrs and if she still wanted it that would be fine. I don't know about the tatt, I'd have to consider that one.

When my oldest wanted his ear pierced at 9, I told him he had to wait until he was 12 and if he still wanted it we would get it done.

Mamacat
May 12th, 2004, 04:29 AM
While I 100% agree with letting kids express their own personality you have to take into account the age of the child for some things. I don't think it's unreasonable that if I'm the one taking care of and styling my DD's hair everyday for school then I should have some say in how it's cut (or not cut for that matter). I would not force her to have long hair if she honestly didn't like it but then again I wouldn't give her complete freedom (at age 6) to choose just any style she wanted either. (Remember it's not her that will be styling it every morning) It's the same way that while she gets to help pick out her clothes I still have final say on them. As she gets older she will have more freedom to choose clothes and hair that she feels expresses herself best.


My experience growing up was that I had long hair through elem school. When I got to junior high I really wanted it cut, layered, and permed. Although this wasn't my mom's first choice for me (and the stylist really didn't want to cut it off...imagine that!) she figured that if I was old enough to be taking care of it myself I was old enough to choose the style. She did make me think about it for awhile though and warned me that it would take alot more time in the morning before school to style it.

The way that I plan to do things with my children is simple. As they get older and take on more responsibility they earn more freedom to make their own decisions.

butterscotch girl
May 12th, 2004, 05:26 AM
if her hair is already down to her waist, then cutting a couple of inches off isn't short enough to say about choosing a style. It would just be shorter. And if you offer to look through magazines and pick a style, she is more than likely to stick by her decision and want a big chop. It sounds like a lot of fun to look at lots of hairdos and pick one for yourself. Especially for a six-year-old. She might not have a concept of the fact that she'd be stuck with what she picks for a long time; whether she likes it or not. She might have just as much fun looking at the dreamweaver braiding styles and picking one for herself. Maybe not, but maybe :roll:

Jo
May 12th, 2004, 05:42 AM
When I was little, my mom used to cut my hair herself in this stupid bowl cut. People often thought I was a boy! When I was a little older, like around 10, I had grown it out again to below my shoulders, and my mom tricked me into getting it cut! She told me we were going to the salon for a trim, but she told the stylist to take off 6 inches! I cried a lot!

My point? Kids never forget being forced to do something. Almost all the time since high school, I've kept my hair to mid-back, because I was never allowed to as a kid. Now It's waistength, and I'm growing it possibly to my thighs. And my mom thinks I'm nuts, but it's partly because of the way she controlled my hair when I was a kid.

Rain
May 12th, 2004, 06:03 AM
Six-year-olds are old enough to be aware that it's going to be short when you cut it and it won't just grow right back. Two-year-olds might not grasp that but by six, they definitely can. They're also old enough to start helping out with their own hair. Both my kids were taking care of their hair by that age. I'd help them out if they wanted a "fancy" hairdo (ponytails, LOL) or needed help getting out a particularly bad tangle but in general, they did their own hair. I've got enough things to do, YK? They have two capable hands. They can handle it.

butterscotch girl
May 12th, 2004, 06:06 AM
When I was little, I always had hair a little below my shoulders. It was never shorter than that, and never longer either. I considered it short. My mother always cut it, and she was very good at cutting it straight and not too short. She had gone to beauty school for a little while when she thought she wanted to be a beautician. Our haircutting sessions often lasted a long time and were very boring for a little kid to sit through, but the results were always perfect. One day when I was in about first grade, she said, "How would you like to have long hair?" I got very excited about the prospect of having beautiful long flowing hair like most princesses. She said she would only let me grow it long if I would take very good care of it, and let her brush it without complaining. I've been growing it since :) The reason it isn't down to my knees or anything is because sometimes I got a few inches taken off. It has grown very, very gradually longer throughout my life. It is starting to pick up the pace now that I've been coming here :wink:

Peanut
May 12th, 2004, 08:02 AM
Don't impose your dreams on your children. I have a very close, very loving relationship with my mother, but my hair was kept above my shoulders (or close to) until I left for college. I always dreamed of long hair, and if she'd let me have it, I could have hair to my ankles. She'd be horrified, but I'd be happy.

Maybe your daughter dreams of being bald. That's her decision. She's the one who'll have to walk around looking like that. Don't force her to live your dreams. She'll resent it the rest of her life.

Anka
May 12th, 2004, 08:34 AM
I have to chime in. Let her decide length, and the only prerequisite you can enforce is that it is low maintenance. My mother prefers me with short hair. But I stil had from shoulder length to slightly above mid back hair most of my childhood. When I cut it really short, it was my decision. I've had every colour in the rainbow on my hair. From age 12 she's had no say in what I did to my hair, since I bought my own dyes etc. All I asked was that she helped me get it on evenly, which she would, since I otherwise would do it myself.

I don't know, but when people start going about "I will not allow my child to do this or that" be it piercings, hair styles, tattoos, I get the big willies. It is their life, their body. I won't pay for their body modifications, but I won't tell them they can't have them either. There are several more important battles to fight than over appearance.

Hell.. if my alien wants a 25 inch mowhawk in aquatic colours I'll probably help style it, because that is one of the single most amazing hair I've ever seen :D

rainee
May 12th, 2004, 08:49 AM
I would suggest watching some movies that showcase some very beautiful long hair (Ever After for instance, speaking of cinderella); and try out some new hairdo's onn here - maybe crown braids and stuff, that will make her feel/look like those characters that inspired her to grow her hair out in the first place. wanting to cut one's hair is often a response to just being bored of doing the same old thing with it every day.

butterscotch girl
May 12th, 2004, 08:55 AM
It's good to let your child have a sense of individuality, but with things like tattoos and piercings, it's better to make them wait until they are grown up. They will change their mind a lot as they decide who they are. Permanent alterations like tattoos and piercings may be regretted for the rest of their lives. They may wish that you, as the adult, had made them act more responsibly. Please don't take offense -it is my view- but I just know that there are people who feel that way about things they did to their body when they were young.

rainee
May 12th, 2004, 09:03 AM
on the tattoo...you might ask her to sketch out the tattoo she wants on a piece of paper, and tell her that when she's 18 (2-3 yrs down the road) she can get it done. Chances are, 2-3 years down the road when she's 18, she probably won't want the same tattoo she wants now, and after looking at the sketch she drew years before, she might think twice about getting something so permanent done to herself.

and/or maybe buy her some water-base pencils and a paint marker. :wink:

butterscotch girl
May 12th, 2004, 09:09 AM
crown braids.... that gives me an idea, rainee :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
here are some sites with hairstyles, Cegirls.

http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip312.htm
http://www.dreamweaverbraiding.com/index.htm
http://www.hairbraiding.com/gallery/
http://www.network54.com/Forum/242462

and here is one with Rapunzel ;)

http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/rapunzel/index.html

Jo
May 12th, 2004, 04:22 PM
About the tattoo...maybe you could find someone to do a henna tattoo. They only last about 2 to 8 weeks, and it's safe. That way she can decide if she really likes it or not. Just be sure it's not "black henna", which has the same nasty chemicals as black hair dye.

heather
May 12th, 2004, 05:10 PM
an interesting thought- how about if the title of this thread was

"my son wants to cut his hair"

would the replies be exactly the same, i wonder?

butterscotch girl
May 12th, 2004, 05:12 PM
I don't know if buying your son a book about Rapunzel would have the same effect :tealbiggr

Alun
May 12th, 2004, 05:51 PM
That's funny! No. I don't think Rapunzel would have the same effect on a boy either! As a matter of fact, I doubt if watching her Rapunzel DVD has much effect on my daughter. It's just a fictional character, after all.

I don't think we would get the same responses if the title of the thread said son instead of daughter. I think most people here just like long hair, but there are one or two who have a more traditional outlook.

Also, to be honest, I would be more upset if my daughter wanted really short hair, whereas I am more prepared to accept it on my son. I still don't like it, but I am more concious of not wanting to make him have a particular style. He doesn't get it cut as often as his friends, but that is because their parents probably insist they get it cut as soon as it shows any noticeable growth, whereas we get his cut just often enough to maintain the style. Also, it is short enough to spike up, but if he wanted it cut any shorter we might well not agree.

As for tatoos, earrings and other piercings, I agree that these are a lot different from hair. I'm not keen on tatoos atall, but it does seem best to just make them wait until they are older. Henna tatoos seem like a good idea. I also think that one hole per ear is not very controversial, even for a boy, but for anything more than that they should wait until they are adults. I can't remember which ear is which for guys, though.

Rain
May 12th, 2004, 06:23 PM
I don't have any sons but if I did, I'd treat his hair the same way as my daughters'. Okay, I probably would not put glittery Hello Kitty clips in it (unless he asked, lol)...but long hair would be okay with me :-) My dh had long hair when he was a little boy and it was cute.